Recently I ended a relationship with someone I thought I'd never let go. She was my lover, but coming to the close of our connection I realized we were never friends. Maybe that's what stopped us in our tracks? I really think so!
People often ignore the basic building blocks of a relationship because of the excitement of being infatuated with someone. You are not thinking about friendship or communication or trust whilst attempting to simply get someone to like you. I get it, but wouldn't it make more sense to allow those things to exhibit themselves so that you can really see what and who you're dealing with? I am sure we have all been caught off guard by a friend who was never really our friend or a lover who never had our best interest in mind! Taking the time to REALLY get to know someone can save you all the heartache and pain in the future.
Letting go to let them GROW!
Sometimes people walk out of our lives because the time is simply not right for our energies to align. That doesn't mean that the people of you're past can never be an ally in your future. Everything happens for a reason, therefore you met that person for a reason and you lost them for a lesson!
Understanding that love is never lost...
is key to rebuilding those spaces with people you never thought you would connect with again. Why is it that we tell people we love them, share all our life's secrets, and make amazing memories just to force ourselves to forget them when things don't work out? That's not fair to ourselves, or the other person and if we learned to see love as something that doesn't hurt but teaches, then can we see these relationship processes that help us grow to become better and more open lovers and friends.
The Art of Letting Go
Holding on to a grudge or pain that someone has caused you keeps you in a space where you can never see the good in forgiving and rebuilding at a better time!
Someone who once caused me great emotional abuse is now someone I can connect with and share a genuine friendship with. THAT TOOK FAITH, FORGIVENESS AND SOOOO MUCH PATIENCE, LOL! It could have never come easily if I didn't have the time and space to grow and find the words to communicate boundaries and to encourage them to be more positive about our connection moving forward. Ex-lovers and friends often enjoy rehashing the past, especially if they have not been able to find the lesson in the connection for themselves. It is up to you to make the decision of whether you want to give them the closure and reassurance they still seek, or if you want to let the past be the past and work on building something refreshed and renewed with a new mindset and heart!
If they're ready to be the friend you seek then they will be totally open to creating something new moving forward. If they're not ready to move forward, then give them their space so that can continue to grow. Everyone is growing at their own pace so don't push anything on them if they're not ready. Be open to accepting that not everyone will see things the way you see them, even if they are for the better!
Once you move past the hard part of letting go, now you can grow together! In some cases, this can lead to a new love manifesting itself, but be open to accepting that friends can love each other as much as lovers can! Just because you feel like you can love and be open with someone from your past that does not mean a romantic relationship should come out of the connection you all share now. Don't rush back into something that could make things toxic for the both of you, and most importantly, NEVER FORGET WHO PEOPLE REALLY ARE!
The universe showed you their true colors once; don't let these things go unnoticed when rebuilding these connections. Be observant of how you reacted in the past, and if you can, learn how to better handle matters now! Rebuilding these connections with love as your intention can only create a more solid foundation for you all to grow from. Don't let the pain of your past limit the happiness in your future, keep the love alive!