Why do people find it so difficult to understand that exes can be best friends? Speaking from personal experience, it happens, it is true, and it can be really great. The societal norm when it comes to breakups is that no matter how good the terms are of the breakup, it is never the same. No matter how many times recently broken up couples say that they still want to be friends, the tendency, somehow, is that it just is never the same and they grow apart in the process.
It does not have to be this way. Yes, couples have had their issues and either worked them out or could not repair them. However, there is always going to be that special something that you will always have that connected you to that person. What is it for you? How did you two meet? How many dates did it take before you made it official? Did you have a great bond before you even started going out?
Think about the first dates together. Do you remember the butterflies in your stomach? Do you remember planning your first weekend getaway? Do you remember the first night you stayed together in a hotel or how you could talk all night about everything? Were your first holidays together memorable and magical? There is a certain excitement about figuring out where your next adventure would be. No matter if it were at the movies, the gun range, laying on a beach, going to the club, dancing, or even just a movie marathon at home, the excitement was always there. And how about the difficulties you had parting ways and wondering when you would see each other again? Do you remember how that felt for each of you?
You were not just lovers, but also friends, and maybe even best friends. It is hard enough losing a lover, but losing a friend is even harder. The person you confided in and could be yourself around without any judgment is now gone too. Why should you have to lose your friend and confidant whom you have counted on for the last six months, two years, or so forth just because you both chose to go your separate ways for a while?
Sometimes if the breakup was not a mutual one, there may be jealousies for a while. But eventually, those will fade and it will be the right time to rediscover what qualities you saw in each other to relaunch a friendship. If you two claimed to be friends to begin with, eventually those feelings will pass and you can find the friend you have been missing once again. Again, there was something that fit you two together to begin with.
I have an ex who is now my best friend. Her name is Cassie, and I would not have it any other way. It is really nice to have someone who I can get great advice from, a shoulder to lean on, someone to talk to, and someone to just go have fun with. It is great to be able to get a girl's opinion on pressing matters in my life without feeling pressured or judged for it. She also knows that I'm here supporting her and all of her choices. I am very happy to have been able to trust her all of this time, so why in the world would I stop now?
It is okay that you want to be alone sometimes, but when you become lonely, then it is a problem. It is difficult to succeed at what you want in life if you don't have at least one friend you can count on for moral support and most everything else. You don't need a romantic connection in order to have that, but rather an empathetic connection of trust and understanding. If you so happen to have the romance as well, then that is an added bonus, but it is not a requirement. All I can say is that you should feel lucky to have a best friend at all. If we were all lucky, we would all have someone we could call our best friend. If it happens to be your ex, then I don't see a problem with that. Keep an open mind and you will never be lonely again if you find a way to keep your ex-ies as your besties.