To the boy who never showed,

Thank you.

Your absence has forced me to find my own way in life, to find my own light, my own meaning.

For I never thought that I would see a day without you, yet here we are. Your constant bullying and belittling have made me the person I am today. For I firmly believe that I would not be who I am, had you not walked into my life.

You were everything to me. So when things got bad, I’m sorry that I left.

But one can only take so much.

Thank you for making me leave because I also firmly believe that if I had stayed, I would not be as strong as I am now. I know that I would be little and weak because that is how I felt when I was with you and that is not who I am. Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

It’s so hard to throw it all away and to give up.

In a way, I didn’t give up though. I chose myself over you, whereas you never chose me over yourself.

The hardest part is never leaving, but in fact, it’s staying. Can you do it? Can you do it when the time comes? Can you put yourself through the emotional beating every day? Can you say no?

To the boy who never showed, how could you?

How could you turn your back on someone when they give you your all? When they put it all on the line for you. Was it not enough?

To the boy who never showed, I thank God that you never did.

For I have learned some of my hardest lessons because of you. Sometimes love is not enough and sometimes you have to leave the person you love.

To the boy who never showed, I hope you're doing ok and that things are going well for you.

I hope when you look back on this time, you realize how much you screwed up — but you're never coming back for me.