I have been writing for as long as I can remember; I know that a great deal of my fellow Creative Writing classmates will say the same (or at least have a similar story for the genesis of their writing career). The truth is, however, that even though I have been writing for so long, my writing has grown and developed... it has evolved.

Writers will say that a piece of writing is never complete, that it is constantly changing. Writing is a living breathing thing. As writers, we always find something in our writing that we want to change, even after it is out in the world. So wouldn’t it make sense to say that writers are constantly evolving and changing as well? Not just as people, but in their craft.

My genesis began after my parents’ divorce. I always loved reading, so it seemed only logical that if I could escape into the works of someone else’s imagination that I could escape into my own. I recall many of my first works, most of them involved young girls who had been forgotten: who survived some tragedy, who had to learn how to survive on their own without depending on anyone else. Of course, these were the creations of a six-year-old, so the writing itself was pretty absurd and full of grammar mistakes. But my theme has remained the same thirteen years later.

So what was my evolution, really? It was learning what my niche was; what writing style and topic I felt passionate about, and what I could write well. Now as a nineteen-year-old I have suffered through far more traumatic events than my six-year-old self. I have been mentally abused by a family member. I’ve struggled through self-harm (although I’m going on four years clean this coming May). I half-attempted suicide when I was fifteen years old. I say half-attempted because I stopped myself half way through taking the pills, and ended up having a traumatic “bad trip” from the sleeping pills I had taken. I have had mentally abusive boyfriends and have been sexually assaulted by a number of boys.

These are the themes that I focus on now. I focus on women/girls who have low self-esteem, dependency issues, addictions. I focus on these women/girls overcoming these challenges. I don’t write happy endings because as of yet, I haven’t experienced any in my life.

I write depressing stories and poems with bittersweet endings.

My other evolution was opening myself up to writing more personal pieces. I don’t hide myself behind the characters I’ve created, although I do project myself into some of them. I started writing poetry when I was fifteen, which was something I had never truly thought of doing. It wasn’t until then that I realized the cathartic release that poetry can provide. The narrative power of poetry over prose.

So, although I have changed my writing styles, and altered my original themes slightly, I have always paid homage to my younger self. She was a pretty intuitive little thing. At this point in my life, I truly think that of my younger self as a separate entity, an inciting factor in my writing career. I thank my six-year-old self for teaching herself to write. I thank my eleven-year-old self for attending writing camps for three years so I could hone in on my skills. I thank my fifteen-year-old self for stopping herself from doing something stupid. I thank all of the people in my lives who have hurt me, who have given me the inspiration to write such heart-wrenching works. I thank them all because they have given me the inspiration to try to help others who have ever experienced anything I write about. I write to try to show other victims/survivors that they are not alone in their struggles; that someone hears them and empathizes with their plight.

From my beginning until now, I have evolved from a writer who created to help herself, into a writer who creates to help others. I have evolved into a writer who creates across genres, who creates multi-dimensional characters, and who creates for the sheer joy of creation.