Once it was all said and done, one of the biggest things I took away from recruitment was that the likelihood of me experiencing such a bizarre week ever again was slim to none.
I don't know how to sum up the endeavor other than saying it is weird.
But like anything in life, it is what you make of it.
I am not sure anybody can ever be truly prepared for recruitment without going through it first, but I will give you a breakdown as best as I can.
Get ready for a lot of chanting, singing, sweating, running to places with weird greek names you have never heard before, and eating mints as quickly as you can between every recruitment party. Like I said, you are in for a very strange week.
If you are anything like me, you are sort of freaking out right now. You are wondering what you are getting yourself into, if the girls are going to like you, what you are going to talk about and you are most definitely freaking out about what you are going to wear.
While it is nerve wracking, there is no sense in worrying about any of these things.
There is so much stigma around women and how they treat each other, but remember that all of the people you talk to are human just like you, and want to get to know you as a person. These girls want to like you and you have no clue how excited they are to meet you. They are just as nervous as you are.
On one hand, you most definitely want to be presenting your best and most genuine self. At the same time, recruiters are not nearly as concerned about what shoes you are wearing as they are about who you are as a person. Be yourself and wear what is comfortable, but keep in mind, you are trying to find your new home, with your new sisters, keep it classy.
You either click with a recruiter, or you don't. While it may seem like an issue if you don't instantly hit it off with somebody, that is more than okay. It just might not be the house for you. Or maybe it is and you just haven't met the right person yet. If every chapter was a perfect fit for every PNM (Potential New Member), there would be one giant sorority, not several different chapters on campus.
It is important to note that chances are, you will get released from houses, meaning you won't be invited back.
I cannot stress enough how okay this is.
If you are just now hearing this saying for the first time, know that it will not by any means be the last. Trust the system. By the end of recruitment, if you ever hear this saying again it will be too soon. The best/worst part about it is that this saying could not be more accurate.
Recruitment is a mutual selection process. If you want to go back to a chapter, and they want to invite you back, then you further your recruitment process with them. If you do not want to go back, or they do not want to invite you back, you do not further your recruitment process with them. While it sounds complicated right now, you will have women leading you throughout the entire process to answer any questions you may have. Essentially what this all means, is that you and the chapters choose each other, it is not a one-sided relationship.
Often times, if a person does not get invited back to a chapter they get very upset. While this is completely validated, a good way to look at it is you would not want to join a house that did not want you back. It is okay that not every house is a perfect fit. This is where trusting the system comes in. It is both a mentally and physically exhausting week, but by the end it is all worth it. If you are entirely yourself throughout the recruiting process, you can count on finding your home by the end of it. You may be released by some houses along the way, but it is all a part of finding your perfect home. The system works. Trust it.
The key factor to making sure the system works is by being yourself. Don't portray yourself as somebody you are not, be who you are and you will find like-minded people. Search for a house with girls who will help you grow to be a better person while you simultaneously better the chapter. Pay attention to what the house represents, what their values are and who they are as people. Join a chapter that you would be so proud to be a part of.
During recruitment, there are definitely some dos and don'ts. Some of the major don'ts are discussing the five B's. Boys, Booze, Bucks, Bible, Bush.
Boys: There is no sense in talking about boys. Don't talk about the "cool frats" or what guys you know. Recruitment is solely about you and nobody else. It just does not read well to be focusing on the heart throbs at school when this is about finding your sisters and who you are as a person.
Booze: If you want to party in college, cool, nobody is here to judge, but there is no sense in trying to prove yourself. Despite popular belief, sororities number one priority is not actually getting drunk! Wild right!?
Bucks, Bible, Bush: Bucks meaning money, bible meaning religion and Bush meaning politics. Pro tip: Avoid discussing these publicly in general unless you really know your stuff. Chances are, people will not agree with you 100% of the time. There is a time and a place, but neither of these are very often.
You may or may not have heard of "top houses". Top house meaning hot/cool/whatever.
Top houses are absolute BS and they are not the reason to join a sorority. If you join a chapter simply because you think it is a top house, you can guarantee you will be very unhappy in the long run. If you join a chapter that is the perfect fit for you, you have found your top house. "Top houses" are often determined by how hot guys think the house is, join a chapter for your own opinion, not for somebody else's. At the end of the day, you are the one who is a member of it for life.
Ignore other people's opinions of houses. Your perfect house might not be the same as somebody else's. There is no sense in going to recruitment with preconceived notions on chapters because you simply do not know until you see it for yourself.
Recruitment is one crazy week, and while it can be exhausting, it is one of the most rewarding and worthwhile weeks of your college career. Make the conscious decision to have a blast during recruitment. Step outside of your comfort zone, make connections and find the place you get to run home to on Bid Day.
