Basically, since I was young, I remember all the things I wanted to be or be able to do as I got older. The dream of being a ballerina, star chef, treasure hunter and yes even a princess, I couldn't wait to get older and start my dreams!
Flash forward 10 years and now instead of dreaming to be one of those things I was dreaming of being, well, what the world calls "beautiful." I didn't care so much as to my talents as I did my looks. I wanted to have a small waist, shiny hair, perfect skin, long eyelashes, you know like the women you see on the cover of magazines when you walk into a store...
Forward another few years and now I'm dreaming of both looks and talent, but why? Because we grow up in a world that teaches you if you're not full of talent in everything, and beautiful in every way, then basically you can't be successful...
Lately, I've been tired of stressing over what I can and cannot do and how I look versus how I think I should look. So let's just say I got tired of disliking myself for everything I am not.
Because everything I'm not has made me into everything I am.
I've always spent so much time over-thinking, racking my brain, on questions like how could someone love me, I'm not as beautiful as her, I don't have the talents she does, why do I let people walk all over me, is it because I'm annoying? Just a continuous cycle of negativity and all I ever felt was sadness.
But it's not true. None of it.
I AM loved, I have a family, I have friends, and yes one day I'll find someone who loves me.
I AM beautiful, I may not look like a superstar model, but I am beautiful in my own way.
I may not have all talents I'd love to have, but that doesn't make me less of a person, less successful, or lesser than anyone else.
I AM stronger than just another person for people to use, I am me.
I am ambitious, independent, loving, full of laughter, I am strong, and I know how to hold my own.
But at the same time, I have a heart of gold, a passionate spirit, and a mind that believes in imagination still.
I have been broken, lied to, cheated on, lonely, angry, and ready to give up, life has often been unfair... And with all the pain has come laughter, love, happiness, and most importantly peace with myself.
So I'm done being tired, and thinking I'm not good enough. I'm done feeling less of a person because I don't have the talent in some things, and maybe I'm not beautiful to some. But I am perfectly imperfect... And I am damn proud of it.
"You are enough... You have nothing to prove to anybody" — Maya Angelou
