Hello Reader,

Have you ever done that thing where you combine multiple people into your ideal significant other? Like, for me it’s the girl version of Ryan Gosling’s face, Deadpool’s body, and Willem Dafoe’s smile and feet (that's a thing, yes, whatever).

"Them Crooked Vultures": essentially the musical equivalent of whatever Frankenstein-cocktail-of attractive-people makes up your hypothetical fantasy playmate. You sick bastard, you.

"Them Crooked Vultures" is an experimental alternative rock project containing the talents of Josh Homme with vocals and guitar, Dave Grohl on drums, and John Paul Jones' slip-slappity bass playing. If that combination of names alone doesn’t make you want to stop what you’re doing and scream from the top of Mt. Everest, then chances are you probably don’t know who those Magical Men are––Lemme help you out with that.

Josh Homme: lead singer and lead guitarist for '90s alternative/hard rock band Queens Of The Stoneage. Their music was a blend of experimental grunge alternative––deep, heavy, and mostly importantly fuzzy. When writing the lyrics for Them Crooked Vultures' tunage, Homme pulled out every stop. His lyrical stylings not only work as one-liners that could put Arnold Schwarzenegger to shame, they also weave together to form a collective narrative that encapsulates "self-expression." Some examples of his lyrical genius: "Well if sex is a weapon then smash, boom, pow, how you like me now?" ... "Ignorance is bliss until they take your bliss away" ... "So I told her I was trash, she winked and laughed and said, ‘I already know’."

Dave Grohl: You may know him as the lead singer and lead guitar for the Foo Fighters, however, he was also the drummer for Nirvana. Need I say more?
Grohl’s entire career has been a rocket of success that has helped launch the definition of alternative rock. When Grohl picks up his sticks for Them Crooked Vultures, he channels the grunginess from his time in Nirvana and delivers a fast-paced backbone for the songs to stand upon plus backing vocals (for that added lumber support.)

John Paul Jones (John Baldwin): The Old Master of the group. He played power bass for the legendary classic rock band Led Zeppelin. I don’t care who you are––you have heard of Led Zeppelin. He not only brings back that vital 'n juicy bass line for Them Vultures, but brings his bit in with a zinger. Like in "Mind Eraser, No Chaser’ the distorted siren sound, or the tuba solo at the end.

Basically "Them Crooked Vultures" is a '90s-reminiscent grungy masterpiece of an album. These guys are all masters, because, honestly, they just do whatever the Hell they want. Seriously, the whole album sounds like an especially-well-orchestrated jam session. (I have no proof, but I’m pretty sure their song “Elephants” was in fact a result of them trying to play something as fast as they possibly could.)

to provide you with, at the very least, an interesting half hour of listening pleasure (or whatever it is you're into).