Cuddled up in my warm blankets, twinkle lights, pumpkin scented candles, couple of yummy snacks, and a movie playing. What could be better? That's what I think sounds great every weekend when I don't feel like drinking or going to the bars. Does it end up happening though? No. I get texts from my friends or see social media and I get the case of FOMO (fear of missing out). This is where my problem kicks in.
I'm really an introvert in a loud Italian girl's body. I've always felt different since I was a little girl. I never spoke about it much since people my age just don't seem to understand. In high school, I was friends with everyone and not only one group. The weekends consisted of me doing my own thing, which never bothered me before.
As I get older, it starts to bother me a little bit more. It seems as though I can never fully connect with anyone because they don't seem to be on the same thought process or maturity level as me. My mom always told me I had an old soul. She was completely right. I am friends with everyone in college just as it was in high school, but now I see myself as an introvert even more. I want some weekends to be spent sitting in bed, eating pizza or whatever else, feeling content, doing nothing. I can't seem to get away with it though. The idea of me being different starts to give me the deathly disease of FOMO. This then encourages me to get a somewhat hot outfit on, pre-game a little, go out with my girls, and spend money on alcohol that I could use for something else more beneficial.
So why is it that I seem different? What is it that made me think this way? I could get into religion or say that maybe I'm just special when in fact I don't know what the heck it is. I've seen/gone through things that most kids shouldn't see but it gave me a bigger insight on life. It gave me the understanding of the bigger picture, what I expect out of people, and what I want for my own life. Not just going through that, but I always felt I was meant to do something great in my life. Something big that helped people. It's always felt like a calling that I've never reached yet. So with those two things on my plate, how could I not get the feeling to go out and act like a normal 21-year-old college girl?
