We've all struggled through this at least once in our lives whether it was our classmate, co-worker, someone in our friend circle, or even that one girl who hated us in kindergarten, yeah she counts. A lot of us struggled with that feeling of dislike, that negative energy you can just feel oozing off of them coming straight at you. It's a horrible feeling and at the same time, you keep pushing this person in hopes for them to like you.
Well, guess what? Not everyone you meet in this life is going to like you. Whoa, I know right? What is there not to like? I'm a solid human being who loves to laugh. One of the fastest talking machines you'll ever meet. I'm supportive and I buy the best gifts. Overall I think I am a decent human being and still, not everyone likes me. I swear I'm not conceded but when it comes to friends and family, I genuinely want the best for them and I treat them with the respect they deserve.
Since moving to Los Angeles, I had to find new friends. I made a few rock solid ones over the past couple months and to my surprise, some treat me less and less like a friend.
Of course, I was a little distraught, angry, sad and confused. I wondered what happened within the duration of our friendship, that made them start treating me differently. Like all humans, I know I'm flawed and at the end of the day, I didn't really want to hear someone telling what they dislike about me.
I've struggled with the fact that my friends were the ones slowly disliking me more and more. It was easily observed in the way they spoke and acted towards me. I struggled with this for many years and I'm still struggling with how to cope with it. It hurts more when it's someone you know, especially when it's someone you like having around.
How is this type of mistreatment any different from bullying? If you don't like someone, don't talk to them. Simple as that. People, we're in college, we're semi-adults! We know how to express our feelings, and we've learned the rules of society. My mother used to say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. This is a mantra we should all carry.
Being confident in who I am really helped me ignore negative people in my life. Learning to love myself, allowed me to understand that I needed to cut fake friends out of myself. I know you're probably thinking, "Wow C.C. you're a fake friend, you didn't try to mend your friendships?" First off, yes I did. Secondly, why would I put myself in a situation that made me feel unwanted, unworthy, and sad? I believe in that asking others to respect you, you also have to respect their wishes.
I know it's hard, the feeling of knowing someone hates you leaves a heavyweight in your chest and stomach in an indescribable way. You want to prove yourself worthy of their friendship. This is not a feel-good movie with a happy ending, this is real life. Pushing others will only make the situation worse. Rather than focusing on making other people like you, focus on those who already do! They're the ones that need reciprocated love and support from you.
Disliking someone is not a crime and I'm not saying to open yourself to anyone and everyone but rather remember all of us are human beings with feelings. Your actions can be hurtful and even harmful. Just be considerate of other human beings and remember everyone is going through something. There's really no need to be mean, in an already cruel world.