About two years ago my doctor told me something I never wanted to hear: You are allergic to gluten. How could I survive without pizza? Bagels? Soy sauce? What do you even eat when you're gluten-free? Why me?
But, here I am two years later (yes, I've made it!), and I have learned how to cope with a gluten allergy. So, in honor of those who also must abstain from the free dinner rolls at restaurants and late night Insomnia Cookies, here is a list of everyday struggles of living gluten-free.
1. That feeling when you first found out that you are Celiac, Gluten Intolerant or that you have a wheat allergy.
2. Having people ask you if it's for a "diet."
Um, yeah, I love not eating bread and never getting to have Chinese food ever again. You don't know what I would be willing to do for a warm bagel.
3. Wanting a slice of pizza at every club meeting and event and not being able to have any.
And then the most amazing feeling when exceptional people bring you gluten-free pies and snacks. You are incredible. (Also, gluten-free pizza is surprisingly delicious)
4. Wanting to have a "small snack" and having there be nothing you can eat.
Lettuce is filling, right?
5. Having to answer the question, "Then, what can you eat?" All the time.
Air. And water. (But really just a ton of rice and potatoes)
6. That beautiful feeling when you find a great Italian place that offers gluten-free pasta.
Yes, please!
7. When the waiter tells you they offer a gluten free substitute and it turns out to just be a house salad.
No. Just no. I don't want your pity salad. I want french fries.
8. When you find someone who is gluten-free by choice.
I mean, live your own life, but you're crazy.
9. Watching all your friends order late night pizza, wings, mozz sticks, subs and everything else you are craving but can't have.
10. When someone asks you "What exactly is gluten?"
Flour? Wheat? Barley? Who knows!
11. That moment you find someone who is also gluten-free.
Immediate friendship.
12. When a friend finally tries your gluten-free food and admits that it actually tastes good.
Hell yeah, I know it does.
13. When cafeterias and grocery stores mark raw meat and fruits as "gluten-free."
Yes, and vegetables are vegetarian! Good to know!
14. When you have to bring your own food to parties because otherwise there would be nothing that you can eat.
Whatever, I won't have to wait in line to get my food. I've got a full three-course meal in my bag, don't mind me!
15. Your exact response to finding out a restaurant offers a gluten-free menu.
Yes, I'd like my Udis bread on the side, thanks!
16. Finally coming to terms with your dietary restriction and feeling proud of it. Gluten is super processed anyway, you're better off without it.
...or at least that is what you will continue to tell yourself!
