1. Mentally Preparing Yourself

While laying in bed you find yourself 5 or 6 episodes deep into your Netflix binge and realize you should probably do something productive. Then you realize it has been way more than 2 weeks since you've seen the inside of a gym and acknowledge that it's time to make your triumphant return.

2. Getting Dressed

Dressing yourself for the gym is a struggle and a half. You want to be as comfortable as possible without looking homeless compared to those who manage to look like models while running. So once you find an ensemble that is a nice representation of your style, homeless-chic, you're good to go.

3. Getting Out the Door

The amount of times that you leave without your water bottle and headphones, or walk out wearing slippers instead of sneakers and have to turn back, is actually absurd.

4. Finding the Perfect Machine

Hunting down a machine that is a) not broken, b) you know how to use, and c) not next to someone you hate, is basically like a scavenger hunt; but once you've found it you're ready to move, for the most part.

5. Keeping Up

Once you get going, you begin to get back into your old rhythm and are ready to kill it. You see everyone around you sprinting and start to think that you have to up your light jog to something a little more impressive. Then about 2 minutes into your sprint, you feel a sharp pain and realize that the combination of not warming up and not coming to the gym for weeks has left you with at least three pulled muscles.

6. Post-Workout Stretch

Time to take a nice long stretch to attempt to undo the screwing up you just did.

7. Rewarding Yourself

It only makes sense to reward yourself for your amazing workout by limping your way to the nearest place that has snacks because YOU DESERVE IT after all that hard work.

8. Rest

It's now time to wait at least 2 weeks to go back in order to rest up from all the damage you've done.

I mean, that's what I do at least...