First dates are the worst. You're super excited and can't wait to be taken out by someone other than your grandma, but you'd also rather stab yourself with a fork then have to shave your legs and act like a lady tonight. Whether you're a flirty extrovert like Lorelai, or reserved and goal-oriented like Rory, these are the thoughts that go through your mind when you're on a first date:

I feel enormous.. I probably shouldn't have eaten 4 slices of pizza earlier. Well whatever, he might as well know the fat truth from the beginning. Alright, I can't look too slutty, but I can't look too churchy. Crap, is a dress too much for this restaurant? No, over dressed is always better than under dressed. Oh my God is that his car out front already??

Okay, have an open mind. He's probably really nice! That one tagged Facebook photo from 2009 is somewhat unflattering but I can look past that. Okay, open the car door, smile and say hi. Cool, you're in. Oh wait I like his outfit! Yes, definitely - I'm so glad I said yes to this date.

He seems nervous. Why is he driving with both hands on the steering wheel like that? Is he tense? Why are we talking about the weather? This was an awful idea. I'm so pissed I said yes to this date. Ugh, whatever, it's free dinner at least. I'll be home in a few hours and I'll just never answer his texts again.

This restaurant seems nice. I really hope I don't see anyone I know in here though. Did he really just pull my chair out for me? K. In love.

I cannot do this whole "fake nice" thing much longer. If he's not weird and cynical like me, this is not going to work. Hello, start being an asshole already and let's make this fun!

I can't believe he's still talking about how he "would have made the NFL" if he "didn't tear his ACL". I'm so impressed I forgot to clap. I need another glass of wine.

This is amazing - he's laughing at everything I'm saying. He's so into me. He's totally in love and wants to marry me. I'm so much better than his ex, it's like, not even a comparison!

Do I like him? Like, enough to go out with him again? Ugh, idk. I never know what I want. I don't have time for a boyfriend. But, he better call me tomorrow.

I don't think he bought that lie about having to go home to babysit. I just could not go back to his house after the first date! Is he crazy? Who does he think I am? Besides, I am super busy tonight. Lots of important Netflix binging to do.