Time heals all wounds, and what was once a wound is now a scar. The thing about scars is that they can be seen, whether it's obvious, or even if you have to really look for them.
Breakups leave wounds, no matter the duration of the relationship.
If breakups leave wounds, then breakups leave scars. Sometimes we notice these scars right away, and sometimes we don't. Sometimes we don't know the effect one person has on us until we are forced to see it.
One thing I've noticed about the wounds inflicted on someone from a breakup are the mental wounds. Whether it's looking over your shoulder, or all around you, as you walk places you know you may run into them. Breakups are mentally demanding: the questions all come to mind about what you could've done differently, things you should've said and done. Small things remind you of the person who broke up with you-reminders of the good times, which only inevitably remind you of the bad.
Breakups that turn into "friendships" are difficult too. The scar is still there, and having a friendship doesn't necessarily mean that the breakup wound never existed. It may have lessened the pain, but it serves as a reminder of what once was, what could have been, but what will not be. I'm not saying friendships after breakups can't work, but they're not easy.
Some people are able to run their hands over a scar, be reminded of the pain, but allow the memories of the preceding joy to outweigh the pain endured. Some try, and some can't no matter how long it has been. You used to see that person as special, as different than everyone else, and now they're not supposed to be special anymore? You're supposed to see them as you see everyone else? Good luck. You're still going to wait until they talk to you, you're going to wait until they like your Instagram photo, comment on a Facebook post, or view your snapchat story. You are going to hold their opinions in a higher place than you do your other friends. They are different than everyone else, and it's difficult not to view them as such.
They may not be a bad person, but remember that they are the one who gave you that wound. They are the one who gave you another scar.
So why do we let these people take over our thoughts? Why do we allow them to live in our minds, while we probably don't live in theirs?
I don't know.
So to those who we can't get out of our heads: You gave us wounds. You gave us emotional/mental scars. We are different people because of you. We became stronger after our wounds healed. You're in our past, and you're going to stay there, so please leave our present-day thoughts, you're not welcome anymore.
To the ones with scars left behind: You're stronger now than you were before. You are different, and you see things differently. You are moving on to bigger and better things once you leave the past in the past and find the courage to live in the present. No more "what ifs" or "could haves" and "should haves." Focus on better things, and focus on what is right now.
Don't look back, sweetheart, you're not going that way.
