Once, I was bound.
Bound to the fate of never-ending death. Bound to the foreverness of misery and suffering. Bound to an eternity of wretchedness, hopelessness, darkness. Heavy chains were wrapped along my ankles, across my body, around my neck. Strand upon strand, they were draped over me. Each cruel, cold link of that chain seemed to laugh at me as it clattered and clinked. “Keep moving!” they all would cry. They sneered and mocked and prodded me onward. Dumbly, numbly, I would follow their prompting, I would strain forward into an ever-darkening hole. My knees wobbled. My lungs heaved. The chains scraped the ground with my every step, like the beat of a funeral dirge. My empty heart sought fulfillment in things more empty still. Slowly, unfalteringly, blindly, I staggered forward, being donned with more and ever more chains. The weight eventually became too great, as I fell flat on the ground. Like a vile serpent, I crawled along the gravely dirt, desperately pulling myself deeper toward my demise.
Once, I was free.
Free to the fate of never-ending life. Free to the foreverness of contentment and relief. Free to an eternity of wonderfulness, hopefulness, lightness. In an instant, I was no longer pinned to the ground. All at once, the chains that suffocated my neck, constricted my ribs, and encompassed my legs were gone. As I lay motionless on the ground, I slowly lifted my eyes, and eventually got to my feet. There was nothing there. No weight, no monotonous sound, no chain in sight. I was so liberated. It was so silent. All was so still. My eyes began to see, truly see! and my mind began to know Truth. I turned away from the void of death, and began walking to the fullness of Light. My heart had wholeness, and oh! the things that I felt. My feet were swift, were light and able. As I strove toward the Light of forever day, I began to jog, and run, and sprint, with all of my very being. The joy I felt in being free was nearly too much to bear.
Always, I am ever bound.
My foot will snag on a chain on the ground, and I will go crashing furiously down. My flesh continually picks a fight with me, and it is a bloody, wearisome battle I fight most every day. Sometimes the coolness and wickedness of those familiar chains seem easier to bear than a life of righteousness.
Always, I am ever free.
But time and again, my pitiful face is lifted up to gaze into the Light once more. I am reminded of what lies beyond my old chains, reminded that I do not need them anymore. It is a struggle to let go of the things that gave my heart a false wholeness, filled my mind with memories of exciting and succulent lies. Yet somehow I am always able to. ‘After all,’ I say following my painful parting from the chains of the past, ‘His burden is light.’ Though I face many battles, my war has been won. What a life I live -- ever bound, yet ever free.
