I’m trying to keep with the poetry theme until the end of April because of National Poetry Month and how much poetry means to me! I’ve talked about poets that I love and their work, I’ve talked about how you can start your own work, and now I’m going to talk about me.
I write poetry more often than not. I stick to free verse but try my hand at forms when I’m feeling confident. I write about people in my life more than anything else. Lately, I’ve been looking further into the music I listen to or the songs I can’t bear to anymore. I’ve also been working on a project to have female sexuality be more comfortable for girls to talk about and experience. I’ve been trying to write more short stories too. I’m slowly getting more comfortable with longer pieces. I have three stories I’m really quite proud of, but still, find myself tweaking.
I’m currently working on two different projects. The first one is a book of poems I want to call “For All my Friends in West Virginia.” This book is based on every album and song The Front Bottoms have made, starting with their first released album and ended if the most recent. At the end of this year the most recent album will be Ann. I have been using the cut and paste technique to create new poems out of some of my most favorite lyrics they have written.
I also use the imitation technique where I exchange words in the song to be more specific to me, while still expressing the intended emotion of The Front Bottoms. Finally, I also just listen to the songs and write what they make me think or feel. It was something I started as a project for class, but I just kept going because I found that I really liked what I was creating. Some of my favorite creations from this project include:
“Two Young Lovers on a Far Drive Filling up on Chips”
I bet we were beautiful
Smashing bottles and stepping on glass
It was a passionate rage.
“C’est la vie!”, Tommy told me
The consequence is coming
Totally worth it just to see you act alive.
“Pennsylvania”
And I have been thinking about leaving
I have been thinking about stars
I have been thinking “what would I do without you?”
But I don't think I have the bone structure or mentality to support
This relationship any longer
And I will tattoo my poems all over my body
They will remind me who I am inside
And I will cut off my hair
When I am free
In Pennsylvania
“Red 24”
And I will remember that winter
In stomach growls and lipstick on my teeth
Because you liked the girl I could become
And I liked you.
* * *
The other poetry book I’m working on is about promoting, celebrating, and normalizing women’s sexuality. I plan on it starting off with my short story “How to Become a Slut” and then building from there with all the people who have made me love, hurt, and grow. There will be a mixture of boys and girls on the list along with a variety of poems that explain the type of relationship I had with the person. It’s a learning experience to me as I evaluate the people that meant something once. I can see where I picked up bad relationship habits, as well as pin point when I started to realize I am bisexual. I don’t know that any of the people I’ve written about really know what I’ve done with their memories. I use all their middle names to help protect their identities. I keep going back and forth on a title for this so I’ll keep you guys updated when I decide.
A couple favorites I have from this project include:
Alexander “Help Me Out and I’ll Help You Off”
In the dark I can be whomever
you want
Or need.
As you can be for me
‘I don’t like you like that’
And I don’t like you
Just what you could do for me
You might call me selfish
But you’re getting something here too
No strings attached I might add
It’s truly a win win.
You get your dick wet
and I get back what was stolen.
I want to be able to kiss someone sober
And stop the shakes when brushed
You can help me with that.
Let me help you too though
I can stroke your ego
While also stroking something far more tangible.
Rose “I Didn’t Know That Some Love Was Wrong”
You were my first lesson of love
That helped my understand
What my mom said one Saturday morning.
‘you want someone society will accept’
Surely
Once they met you
Saw your heart
And heard your laugh
They would love you too
They had to.
Patrick “Falling Out of Love”
Its not always your choice to stop loving someone
Sometimes they decide for you
They woke up one day and just knew
You weren’t for them,
So
You act like it’s okay
And sometimes still hope beyond hope
That at one point they’ll realize the mistake that made
And come running . . .
Don’t hold your breath
You’ll cry a lot
But
In public you will be strong
Polite
Sweet
And everything you’ve always been
You’ll be so convincing
Maybe you'll even fool yourself.
Patrick “I Wish I Knew You Earlier”
Before my heart was broken and before yours was too. Before I had told all the others I loved them. Because I know now it was a lie. Before your date ditched you at prom. Because I would have dance with you til I fell over. Before all of the shit we had to deal with and our demons that still stand in the crowd. If I had known you earlier then, maybe, I wouldn’t have gone through the things that I did.
But,
if I still had to go through it all,
it would have been so much easier with you on speed dial.
* * *
My goal for the end of this year is to submit one of these projects for publishing. Both would be amazing, but I need to be realistic. Next year I plan to work on my short stories and perhaps write a short book with them. I also would like to dive into the band Aaron West and the Roaring 20s as I have with The Front Bottoms. If you want to read any of my other poems of or the short story "How to Become a Slut" you can check out my blog! I’m happy with what I’m creating and remain excited for the future of my writing, regardless of I actually get published or not.
I look forward to telling you guys more about my writing as I work towards my goal and hope to find support in this amazing community. Keep writing poems for National Poetry Month and in my article next week I’ll share all mine and you can share any of yours! Keep writing.
