When you’re a kid, you can’t wait to grow up. You can’t wait for your independence, the ability to stay up as late as you want, eat whatever you want whenever you want it, and do whatever it is your heart desires. It’s independence that you crave.

When you get to college, you love your newfound freedom. You love living with other kids your age, staying up all night, partying, not worrying about curfews or parents constantly checking up on you. Sure, class can be annoying, but even then you have fun meeting new people, learning new things, and realizing that not every professor is like the boring, mean math teacher you had in high school. Life is great.

Then reality hits. For some, it comes sooner than later, like it did with me. I finally started to grow up the summer before my sophomore year in college. I was the ultimate party girl my freshman year: a night owl, a social butterfly, the friend who would never turn down a late-night rendezvous around town, whether it was a school night or not. Now, I live for naps, limited interaction, and partaking in the literal definition of “Netflix and chill”, where literally all I do is binge-watch Louis and nap. It’s great.

Growing up isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I know I feel much more responsible and in control of my life and my future than I did this time last year.

But when you finally start to grow up, the glamour of your old lifestyle starts to fade. You learn that getting drunk every night and making poor choices holds you back more than it lifts you up. You learn that you’re in school for a reason: to get an education, not to ditch class. You also learn who your true friends are.

Growing up means setting new and higher goals for yourself. It means going the extra mile on projects and assignments. It means putting yourself out there when it comes to meeting new people, applying for jobs, and getting involved. It’s knowing that it’s not always easy, but in the long run it is so worth it.

Growing up means having a new outlook on life. It means thinking about where you see yourself in five years. It means seriously looking at the major you’re in and whether or not you still want to earn that degree. It means taking the time to research all you need to do to become successful in whatever it is you want your life to lead you toward.

Growing up means losing friends you thought were your ride-or-dies until you started to grow up and they didn’t. It means letting go of the people who are only there for you when you’re down to party and meeting people who are always there to support and encourage you when it comes to your well-being. It means saying no to bar-hopping and frat parties. It means realizing that you are the company you keep.

Maybe you don’t want to grow up just yet, and that’s okay. That reality check comes to everyone at a different point in their life. For me, it just came early. Sure, I miss the fun times I used to have, but now my idea of fun has changed, and I can honestly say that I am a better person because I needed a good kick in the butt from life telling me that I wasn’t meant to be acting like a freshman forever. I’m meant for bigger and better things, and so are you.