These past couple of weeks have been nothing but obstacles on obstacles on obstacles. And for those of you who don't know me let me just say that I am a "perfection-list." That means that I organize almost everything in my life to be priorities, and put them in order by importance. Now this list is ever-changing and always being manipulated.
If something is to be high on my list then it has to show me immediate benefits, or else its number will be lower than others. So for example my job, this is probably number three on my list because I know that for everything I do I will be rewarded with a set amount of money. Don't get hype yet, it's money that pays for car insurance, rent, food, and money that affords me simple pleasures like a monthly shopping trip. If something is low on my list then the results are probably more long term, meaning that the time and energy I put in will not be reimbursed any time soon other then the bare minimum; for example praise.
Don't get me wrong, everyone loves to be told when they are doing something right. And for that I am grateful for the words people string together to congratulate me for doing my job. Trust me kind words never go unnoticed. However, a word does not have the same amount of power over a pay check. Which brings me to my next point.
If something makes it on my list at all, then it has some weight to gaining my attention, and yes my attention is worth something. Because if a person is tired, busy, drained, strained, and downright low on energy but they still find time to get something done then it must be of some importance to them, right? I mean after all there are only twenty-four hours in a day. And lets say you work a nine hour shift Monday through Friday. But your health is pretty important so you take an hour to work out, not to mention the eight hours you need for sleep, and then another hour for eating throughout the day, and you take a class every evening for school which takes two hours. So then you're left with 3 hours, but all the driving from the day really only leaves you with 2 hours to yourself. But what would life be without a couple of mishaps so lets say all in all you only have about an hour to yourself. Now this would be free-time, but that's when all those little words on your list start screaming for attention.
So what do you do? Do you ignore them and allow yourself to enjoy some relaxation? No! Because you made a commitment, so you pull yourself together and get it done. One number at a time, one check at a time, and one task at a time. You may not like it. You may not feel like it's worth it. But you do it anyway, because you're committed.
And after all that the best part is, if it's not up to someones standards then you get the honor of hearing "You don't have your priorities in order." I'm literally laughing inside as if I am supposed to honestly live my life around someone else's orders. To them I say nothing, absolutely nothing.
After all mother always said "silence is the best response to a fool."
