Coming home after my first year of college, I have had a lot of time on my hands. I have had time to recover physically -- I got my first full night of sleep since February, which was cool -- but I have also had time to recover emotionally from a pretty tough year, and to reflect on all that has happened over the last eight months. I learned a lot in the classroom, but more importantly, I learned a lot of valuable lessons about myself. The most important one was learning to accept that I am simply enough. I am good enough, smart enough, I did enough, studied enough, was social enough. I don't think people my age are reminded of this enough.
You are enough. Your feelings are valid. Your best is just that -- your best. So to everyone who has just finished their school year, or is currently finishing, give yourself a pat on the back and allow yourself some time to take a step back and be proud of all you have done over the last year.
We, too often, get caught up in what is next or what has passed. I know I am guilty of stressing over classes that don't start for another four months and obsessing over one test two months ago that I could have made more time to study for. Maybe, just maybe, that would have been the difference between a B+ and A-. This is the problem. We spend too much time stressing out about things we have no control over. I know it's been said a million times, but there is no point in worrying about things four months down the road, or wishing you had done something differently two months ago.
If something made you genuinely upset -- a bad grade, a failed relationship -- you deserve to let yourself have whatever emotional response comes with it. Your feelings, whatever they may be, are 100% valid; do not ever allow anyone to tell you otherwise. However, there comes a point when you either must acknowledge that you could not have done anything differently, or that you made a mistake and have to learn from it. In regards to the future, know that you can plan, but those plans should be tentative; it is very likely that they will change.
At the end of the day, I am nineteen years old and cannot even begin to claim that I know how life works. I know not stressing is way easier said that done, but I also know that is is nice to be reminded that things work out. It is okay to let go, sometimes, and acknowledge that you are trying, you are succeeding. Your emotions -- stress, anger, anxiety, fears -- are all valid. You are allowed to be happy with wherever you are in life. Most importantly, whatever you are doing, whatever you are feeling, wherever you are in life -- graduating, finding an internship, spending all summer on the couch -- it is enough. You are enough.
