We all reach moments in our lives when we realize, in some way, that the friends we have won't be our friends forever. Perhaps a friendship has gone long distance and we can't keep up; maybe there was a falling out. There may even be instances where we choose to distance ourselves because we no longer wish to be as close with a friend, or are just ready to end the friendship altogether. Whatever the reason, we feel hurt and saddened nonetheless.
Ending a friendship is far worse than ending a relationship for two reasons. The first is that a friendship isn't as commitment oriented as a relationship - there is no belief that down the line you and your friend are going to end up being life partners, or are friends for the purpose of building a future together (like you would a relationship). I'm not saying that breakups aren't hard, but I think ending a friendship is worse because of the fact that you believe you are going to be friends with someone for a very long time, whereas relationships are unknown and normally have an end goal.
The second reason is that mutual friends always get involved, regardless if they try to stay out of the situation. There is no stopping it. If you have a larger group of friends, a friendship fallout is bound to make an impact on their lives just as much as yours. The problem with this is that once everyone gets involved, it becomes even more complicated and heartbreaking.
In a way, it almost feels like a divorce. Your mutual friends say they understand the situation and that there won't be any "sides," but they don't and there are. It's not really their fault, it's just what happens when someone is caught in the middle of two friends, and you get that, but it doesn't make it any less painful. Of course your mutual friends still try to maintain relationships with both parties, but let's be honest, it never works out that way.
It starts with canceled dinner plans one night, and then the next night, and the next, until it finally becomes the norm and you have stopped trying altogether. You then see your mutual friends and ex-friend having dance parties via Snapchat or Instagrams with late night fro-yo runs, and the sadness (and now anger) only gets worse.
Friendship breakups are even worse if it occurs while you are in school. No matter how hard you try, you can't seem to get away from your ex-friend, and it kills you to see them every day. There are always mixed emotions when you pass them in the hall: grief, heartache, anger, the list goes on. You just want to stop seeing the constant reminder of your lost friendship, but you can't. Every time you think you are starting to heal, every time you have just one moment of peace and forgetfulness, there they are, and all those sad and hurtful feelings come flooding back.
Losing a friend is really hard, but hopefully you can learn to move past it and focus on the friends that are important to you and make you happy. It's going to take some time, but the dust will settle, and your heart will heal.
