Feelings are like drugs. The two are mind-altering; they make you believe things that are just not realistic. But sometimes, feelings are worse. Emotions will always be there, and there is no rehabilitation for that.
One thing these emotions get in the way of is the fact that no matter how hard you try to convince yourself, nothing in your life is really permanent. Troubles, hardships, and sorrows will not last forever. But this isn’t just the case for negativity. I don’t by any means want to be negative, but just like those negative aspects of life, all of the good things in life aren’t going to last forever either. One of those being friendships.
I used to try and convince myself that the good things in life will last effortlessly. But, I came to terms with the inevitable ending of the good things at a young age. A young age meaning middle school. Going into those three years of my life, my youthful conscious predicted I would develop friendships instantaneously and they would last a lifetime. I was wrong.
This facade I had all came crumbling down when a girl, who thrived on lies and secrets, told me that two of my best friends wanted me dead. When I heard this, I was in shock. I knew those good things take time and work, but I did not realize that some things just aren’t meant to be.
After processing what was supposedly said about me, my emotions possessed me and I was drowning in sorrows and tears. I called my mom and she became overly protective and called the school on the situation. I then went into the office and talked to my assistant principal. He said that there are two types of friends: friends of the road and friends of the heart.
His words may have been to end this pointless drama and move on to more important things, but throughout the years, they have stuck with me. I realized that growing up, there will be many temporary friendships. The friends of the road.
We always forget that we’re forced into a building to learn every day with the same small group of people.We always end up gravitating to create friendships with people because they live within geographic range of us and are the same age. We always fail to realize that there is a whole world, full of amazing people, to become your friend of the heart.
Friends of the heart are sometimes hard to find. But once you find that friendship, you’ll know. By no means will that friendship require no efforts and it will all be butterflies and rainbows, but a feeling of pure happiness and fulfillment will be acquired through that special friendship.
It’s hard to be in high school sometimes and feel like a fish out of water when trying to find a friendship. But, finding a friendship that suddenly ends shouldn’t be detrimental to your high school experience and by no means should degrade you as a person.
Personalities evolve. If the friends you have, or have had for years, develop into people with significant differences, then maybe they're not meant to be in your life forever. And that's okay.
Throughout high school and middle school, many of my friendships have ended and new ones have begun. At first, a friendship that ended for me made me question my self-worth and significantly impacted my confidence. But over the years, I realized that if I don’t grow as a person, then what were those four years for?
Friendships that end are always going to be a hard thing. But you can't have a negative mindset. The desire to point fingers is going to be inevitable, but it’s important to stay positive. Remember that these people were put into your life for a reason, they’ve given you memories and have helped shape you into the person you are. Plus, you will never know what encounters you might have with them in the future.
In the end, growing as a person is going to be more impactful than keeping a group of friends. So, if the two won’t work together gracefully, focus on self-improvement rather than forcing yourself into becoming a person you weren’t meant to be. If you’re lucky enough to have a friend to support you throughout your crazy high school experience, just know they’re a friend of the heart, and you should appreciate them to your fullest abilities.
