The month of May is finally here, April flowers have indeed brought may flowers, and everyone is beginning to panic about finals, if they haven't started already. The process of saying goodbye to your friends becomes harder to come to terms with than when Bruce Jenner realized his attraction to wine and sex in the city marathons wasn't just a coincidence. You begin to panic about the fact that when you go home there are actual rules. May Day! May Day! Below are the seven stages of grief every student endures as the school year comes to an end.
1. Shock and denial.
You will probably react to learning that you have to move out in 14 days with shocked disbelief. You may deny the reality that finals are in a week and turn to Netflix, or maybe watch the episode of Derek's death on Grey's Anatomy for the sixth time. You will seek emotional support in any way possible, as you numb the pain with specials during happy hour on a Tuesday. Denial provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once.
2. Pain and guilt.
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with suffering of unbelievable pain, also known as a hangover. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, the hangover of pain and guilt begins to fade; it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol (you will deny this rule). Freshman Frankie Fogerty reflected on her experience with overcoming the second stage of grief form her year coming to a close, saying “I just recently have found myself getting really drunk, reminiscing on all the good times, shedding a tear maybe, laugh, then getting twisted." It's time to locate the articles of clothing you lost that you need to give back to your friends before you all move out. It is time to to face the facts.
3. Anger and bargaining.
Frustration paves the way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for your final grades, and that you are still single, on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion. You may rail against fate, questioning, “Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with reality, wallowing in sadness as you watch your friends graduate and cry at their senior bar crawls, knowing that will be you before you know it.
4. Depression, reflection, loneliness.
The weekend before exams becomes a harsh reality during your fourth stage of grief. Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will, likely, overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not let well-meaning outsiders talk you out of it. Encouragement to finish your margarita that is too sugary is not helpful during this stage of grieving. You may isolate yourself on purpose at bars, crying in the corner to "Wonderwall" by Semi- Sonic, saying “I hate growing up" in between sobs. Then, the infamous stop day arrives, where you are allotted one last day of the year to make it all count. You stare in the mirror at yourself and retort to your friends, “This is it, guys. Let's go out with a bang."
5. Upward turn.
As you start to come to terms with the fact that you may be isolated from many of your roommates and friends during the summer, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. You start to notice everything you are thankful for; your friend losing her debit card and turning to you for money until her debit card is sent, is seen as a blessing and you will cherish the fleeting moments as they come.
6. Reconstruction and working through.
As you become more functional on your way towards the final step, sleep deprivation kicks in. You will nurse your way into hysterics, as slap happiness is an extreme factor in this stage. As you become more functional, your mind starts working again and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to why your life isn't ending, and the summer is starting. You will start to work on practical and financial problems, reconstructing yourself and your life, moving out of your room. But packing your car is a harsh reality as you avoid eye contact with your friends, knowing it will immediately make you cry the moment you lock eyes.
7. Acceptance and hope.
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept the fact that summer is not so bad. Sure, the school year may be ending, and it will no longer be appropriate to watch Netflix for seven hours, or wear an oversized tank top in public, but you will survive.
