Betrayal, a word whose presence by itself is enough to send shivers down the spine of even the toughest, strongest, and convicted beings in the universe. A word that by itself is an ever changing paradigm of hurt, of pain, of the deepest darkest fears and realities, a word that carries the weight and the darkness of nightmares shared by people across the span of millenniums. It comes in all shapes, sizes, scales, and it surrounds us all. The kind of word that brings with it heart shredding, gut wrenching, knot tying, knee weakening emotion. The kind of word that will bring even the strongest most immortal of kings to his knees. The word that will be the downfall of human kind, the destroyer of relationships, the destroyer of mind body and spirit. Betrayal. Betrayal. Betrayal. betrayal. The kind of word that even to think about it, to even consider it, sends a cold fear through every fiber of your being. A thought that could become a reality at any given time, a reality that could reshape you as a person, tearing you down with each and every thought that enters your mind. What happens when that thought slowly becomes a reality? When your greatest fear decides that it is time to reach out and touch you with its icy burning finger. Earth shattering. Bone crushing. Will breaking. like a form of torture that you can never escape, a cage of questions without answers. Behind bars in your own mind, while you're clawing and scratching and screaming and kicking to break free, screaming for help hoping that one day someone will hear your cries of despair. silently hoping, praying, and waiting for your savior to come. The key holder, the person who can reach into the deepest darkest crevasse of your mind and pull you from it, the person who can pull you away from the cage that has confined you, the cage that continues to torment you. What happens when that cage is opened but the feeling is not the same, when you think you're finally free but everything reminds you of what it was like to be caged and cornered within your own mind. when the slightest thought or remnant of the memory can toss you back in and fully submerge you again. Betrayal. Betrayal. Betrayal. Betrayal. betrayal. It will torment you forever; you will never be the same. You have been shattered into millions of little tiny pieces with no one to help you pick up the pieces but yourself. Because your mind is your own, but is it? does your mind belong to you when you aren't even safe to navigate it freely. Is your mind your own? or has it become a cage forever? a prison that you will forever serve in. Why does betrayal do this to you? why does your mind betray you in this way? have you betrayed yourself? does giving in make you weak? you may never know the answer to your questions, because who has the answers? is it you? Or it the one who cast this spell on you, smothering you until you break. Is it possible to love the person who betrayed you? what about being betrayed by the very person you love. Who can save you from the demons in your mind when they can't even keep themselves from becoming demon you fear most? How do you know if that person ever loved you to begin with? Are these the questions of betrayal? Is this what happens when you've been betrayed? do I continue to betray myself day in and day out? AM I STRONG? or am i weak. Why do I do this to myself? Am in a cage? where did it come from and who put it here? how do I get out! Someone please help me, anyone, someone come and save me from this place, it's so dark in here, it's horrible, the smell of death, the smell of rot and decomposing flesh, the darkness is blinding, its deafening, I can't hear anything but..... but myself. my thoughts, I am alone, with my thoughts and my feelings and the pain of being betrayed. Is this my new life? the life of confinement? No, it is not confinement, it is reflection. think of this as a penitentiary of sorts, a penitentiary where you are free to come and go as you please. Or maybe not. a shelter? from reality? or an ever shifting always changing illusion of painful memory and fear of being shattered again? Who am I? and what am I doing here? you are here to think about your sins. you are here to repent for the pain you've allowed yourself to feel. you think you were broken before? Welcome to the never ending broken world of your mind. where bits and pieces fall into a never ending darkness of creativity and feeling and emotion driven by the pain and passions and fears of being you. You are not welcome here. or maybe you are. maybe this is where you're supposed to be. where I am supposed to be? Ask yourself, is it worth it? was it worth it? is this love worth the pain you've endured? is it worth the pain you're going to continue to endure? is it worth the risk of being shattered again? blinded by love and fear and hate and pain. consumed by the thought of what if. Tortured by the feeling of hopefulness in a hopeless world. They say the pen is mightier than the sword, but the mind is mightier than the pen. when will the pen save you from your own mind? what can save you from your mind? yourself? but how can you save yourself from your own mind. Betrayal. Betrayal. Betrayal. betrayal. saying it over and over and over again doesn't save you. it doesn't lessen the damage of the word. it doesn't lessen the emotional constraint of the thought. it doesn't less the duration of your time spent in the emotional cage of torture designed by your own choices. designed by your maker. and designed by the very thing you pursued to make you happy. Are you happy? no? YES! you are happy, you love your life. you love yourself. you love your family. you love your soul mate. But they have wronged you. How do you fight the urge to sink back into the hole? to sink back into the cage that was designed to keep you locked away for eternity. how do you escape the inescapable box that is your mind? Pandora's box maybe? but is your mind Pandora's box? does it torment you in the same way that you would expect the material enclosed to do so. WHO HAS THE KEY! why do you need the key? it is fuel. fuel for your flame? the flame inside your soul that slowly burns longer and longer until it is black. the black that goes forever just like your mind. You have seen my face I have shown you my face now show me yours. You know who I am and where I come from, the power I have the way I can make you feel without ever even exposing myself to those around you. you are mine. but yet you are not. you are strong. stronger than most, you are like a king with a past of hurt and pain and despair, but yet. still a king. a king like no other. the king of you, the king of your mind. the king of your future, your life, your love, the king of your pain with a crown of needles. the crown of needles that will always be there. to sting you when you forget you wear it. to make you bleed when you think that you are invincible. you wear a crown fit for the king of their own mind body and self. you are the king. you control the hope in which your future lies. you have the power within yourself to take your mind back. to steal it back. to take control of your mind and your feelings and your heart and soul. you decide what is right and wrong you decide what hurts and what doesn't. you decide where you end up and who you end up with. you control every decision you've ever made and continue to make. you control the love you feel and you choose to let it engulf you. consume you. turn you into the love that you have always longed for. the love that has given you hope and joy and confidence and power. nobody can take that from you because it is yours. Not even me. you are you, and you belong to yourself. your mind is yours. and you are strong. you are stronger than the betrayal that has marked you. it cannot beat you because you are the king of your kingdom. the kingdom of love. mindfulness. happiness. fear. love. hate. pain. despair. darkness. light... and love. you are the king of your own love. You are the king of your own betrayal. Now let it shine.