When we think about grieving, we may imagine someone crying, throwing fits of anger, and feeling confused, but there is power to be gained through grief. Each day spent feeling sorrowful or angry paves a path that leads to a potentially better day. We may not want to feel anything, yet we do all at once anyways. It’s important to note though that these feelings can neither be rushed nor hidden and need to be felt so one can have the ability to move forward with one’s life. We need to be gentle with ourselves during such a turbulent time.
Compassion is so important during times like this because we cannot be hard on ourselves for feeling so much. We feel as though we have lost a part of ourselves in the process of grieving a loss, but we are actually just feeling the pain that comes from regenerating a stronger version of one's self. It's like breaking a bone; we may feel intense pain at the time of the injury, but we end up feeling more powerful afterwards knowing we can heal ourselves and be stronger than before.
It is also important to note that there is no end to loss because only the physical body of the person is gone; their soul lives on in your heart regardless. We will continue to live too because we have the power to do so. We have the power to either make a loss into a stepping stone towards a better version of ourselves or make it into a declining escalator that will forever bring us down until we break the cycle... and the cycle starts with us.
It begins with the circle of life taking away someone close to us. Then we are in shock and the world starts moving in slow motion. We try to process it, but our emotional self lashes out in confusion leading to tears and yelling. We would do anything to be in the past before all this happened because the reality is too painful for us at the time, but we try our best to pull ourselves together and let ourselves breakdown when we need to. Then we try to make the best of each day and try to get used to them being gone, but the sorrow only comes in infrequent waves now. We will learn that this isn't the end after all, but rather a chance to have a new beginning, a new you. But we need support in the beginning of our grieving process to get there
Having people to rely on is so important too, because as much as we need to be intrinsically motivated to empower ourselves, we need someone there to be there before we have accepted the loss since we are in such a vulnerable state during that time. Regardless of how we go through the stages of grief or who is around us to be there in our time of need though, it is ourselves that will heal ourselves in the end. It is us who will find the light that will let us become someone who has the ability to go through heart-wrenching loss with only scars that will fade in time. It is us who hold the power to thrive after loss instead of dying inside afterwards.
We may break down a bit from time to time like our bones do after injury or aging, but we will always become stronger, just as much as our bones do when they are in the process of healing. We have the power to heal ourselves. We may shatter at some point in our lives, but when we put the pieces of ourselves back together it's pretty beautiful. So remember that our minds can compel us to do anything and that means that whoever dies that is closest to us does not have to be the end for us. We are more than our hardships and we will be better people afterwards even if a piece of ourselves is gone.
If you or someone you know is going through hardships, encourage them or yourself to let your feelings out in a productive manner and talk to the people closest to you, family or not. Having a source of catharsis can also aid in one’s goal to move forward and keep going about their days with a genuine smile.
