I had a customer this week say, “you too,” when I told her what her change was. She was absolutely mortified until I assured her that I’d done the same at multiple restaurants and movie theaters. Us customers never stop to think that the employees are equally as awkward. Here are some instances that I’ve had as an employee that really emphasize this.

1.“Have a nice day!”

When a customer checks out, it is common courtesy to thank them and wish them well. Once, when I was trying to say “have a nice day,” the customer beat me to it and I just froze. My routine was messed up and I was unprepared, because for some reason my brain couldn’t wrap my head around just saying “thanks, you too!” I stared at them for a while wide-eyed and then just said “no.” Out of all of the things I could have said, I chose “no.” That was probably the worst possible response I could have had. I ended up with a customer side-eyeing me real hard as he walked out of the store. I could only imagine what he was thinking. Did he think that I was just majorly unhappy with my life and refused to have a nice day? The next customer in line then gave me a weird look and asked if I was having a rough day. At least when customers mess up, it’s usually just them and the employee who witness it.

2. Change exchange

I drop everything: my phone, my keys, merchandise that I’m stocking, that robotic baby they give you in school ... everything. So naturally, when handing customers back change, or even trying to get the change out of the till for them, I’m dropping it all over hell. I do not know why I do this. It’s not like my hands are shaky or anything. I just cannot master the act of holding things and then transporting them somewhere else. This guy got a Diet Sunkist and paid with a hundred dollar bill. That’s $98.94 in change, and I knew what was about to go down. I reached for a penny out of the penny exchange thing, but it was empty, so I couldn’t even trade out the four cents for a nickel. I got the $98 and just stopped for a second to breathe and prepare myself for what was going to happen. I got my three quarters; that was the easy part. The two dimes seemed to be okay too. Then I reached for the four pennies and literally every time I would dip my hand in to grab them they would just fall right back out. After about six tries, I got it. The hard part was over. So I go to hand this guy his change, and I hand him the dollars first. I count them out to him and they are now safely in his hand. I go to pour my hand of change into his hand and somehow just miss his hand. I don’t know how this money failed to move from my hand into his but it did. The fun thing about coins is that they bounce and roll all over the place. I couldn’t stop myself from saying “not again!” as I lunged to stop the currency from rolling off of the counter. Three pennies managed to find their way onto the floor and under the counter, which meant I had to fish out three new pennies and then grab those ones when I had a spare moment. So we had to repeat the whole process––luckily, that time with more success.

3. Cigarettes

I don’t smoke, chew, vape, or any of that jazz; so when customers come up and say, “Yeah, I’d like some Marlboro long-cut wintergreen menthol light 100s,” (yes, I’m aware that’s not a real thing) I just am going to run my hand along all of the cigarettes until you tell me to stop. I’m slowly learning the cigarettes, but the chewing tobacco is might as well be printed in a different language for me. Somehow every time they start directing me, I forget my left from my right, so when they say “to your left,” I always hear “your other left” immediately after. If they could just say “green box, second from the end on the third row” I would be so happy, but they don’t, so I just sit there struggling. Some customers’ cigarette preference, I’ve memorized. Then, when I see them pull up, I pull that kind out and set it by my till. Well, one time this backfired. I happened to have my phone sitting by the till as well, because it kept falling out of my pocket. When I reached for the cigarettes, I handed him one pack and then my phone instead of his second pack. He got all the way into his car and halfway out of the parking lot before he realized that he couldn’t smoke my phone. Also, every time I open a carton of cigarettes I get a paper cut, so if people could just stop smoking I wouldn’t have to deal with all of this.

Customers aren’t the only ones who leave the store embarrassed sometimes, and at least they get the benefit of just being able to walk away from the scene immediately after. Us employees have to remain behind our counter of shame for the rest of our shift constantly analyzing everything we do so as not to repeat the action. So don’t ever feel alone, because we’re right there with you.