We live in a world where representation is everything. We are constantly worried about how we are viewed. We want to look and be the best we can be at all times. Unfortunately, emotions are something we are encouraged to conceal. Being known as the emotional person is far worse than any other kind of label because it’s looked at as a personality trait, not a problem that can fixed with time. No one wants to date an emotional person, no one wants to be friends with an emotional person, no one wants to deal with an emotional person because people have their own problems to worry about.

However, all that is really happening is that people are treating emotions like they are a disease, not the feelings and moods that shape our personalities, interests, and entire outlook on life. We begin to believe that something is wrong with us if we feel too many emotions. We question at what point do we go from having emotions to being emotional?

We have to stop treating emotions like a foreign topic online and with each other and start accepting them for what they are. If we don’t, we will never be able to understand each other or ourselves.

I say “we” because I was also this way. Aside from being an EmotionPhobe, I believed there was enough negativity in the world, so why add to it? I was hiding my less appealing side and spreading positivity. I only shared motivational quotes and captions, took selfies smiling, I always dressed to impress, I would be there for anyone who was feeling down and never, would I ever, cry in public, in front of random people, and especially someone of interest. That just isn’t right, right?

But that isn’t the way it works. Just because you want to throw rays of positivity out to brighten the world and avoid your emotions doesn’t mean you are never going to be hurt, sad, wake up in a bad mood, cry, or go through intermittent stages of depression and loneliness. It wasn’t until recently that I realized by avoiding my own emotions and healing my friends problems, I was lying to myself and everyone else.

Long conversation short, for the first time in my life I saw how emotionally detached I was, from everything. I viewed my emotions as a sign of weakness. After crying and letting out years of emotional toll, my mind and entire outlook on my world had been changed. Having emotions isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of living.

Looking back, all of those times I felt alone, numb, and depressed, it’s because no one knew how hurt I was. I was isolating myself from the care and support I needed. How could I expect someone to be there for me when all they see is a positive, motivational person who smiles in photos? It’s not that I was alone, it’s that I was lying to everyone else, and myself.

The issue wasn’t protecting myself from being hurt, or trying to be positive, but it was how I went about it. I assumed that becoming emotionally detached from everything would prevent me from crying, and while it did, it also prevented me from feeling all of the great things out of life as well. By avoiding sadness, I was sacrificing happiness and all it did was create one feeling of numbness for a long time.

So what do you do if you’re struggling with your emotions? Well, open up to someone, whether that be a friend or significant other. It is okay to say you need to talk about things that are bothering you.

Tell them what you need. Sometimes you just need someone to listen, other times you may need an intervention about your entire life decisions. Either way, just know that when you are talking about what is wrong, you aren’t complaining, you are venting, and that is perfectly normal to do, it’s actually quite healthy. Most of the time, venting the simple things allows you to forget and move on. It’s as if you just needed someone to know that it happened so that you could let it go, for good.

Don’t cut off your emotions as you’re trying to explain them. You ever prepare to talk to someone about something and you think you have it under control, but when it’s actually happening you turn into a crying hot mess? Yes, it happens, but it is OK. Crying isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of releasing and letting go of toxic tension. Having a solid cry is a good thing every now and then.

Lastly, don’t be ashamed of your emotions or try to filter them. Everyone has emotions, and notice the plurality in that. It doesn’t mean everyone is always happy all the time, it means even the happy people get sad, frustrated, or cry every now and then. When you step back from things in hopes of avoiding feeling sad or frustrated or even crying, you’re also stepping back from feeling happy, joyful, and laughing.

Reach out to someone if you ever feel alone. Be available to someone in case they may need to talk about their emotions. You never know who you could end up falling into a deep conversation with unexpectedly, but you should always know that you deserve to feel better than the way you do.

Emotions aren’t a sign of weakness, they are a sign of living.