Everyone always tells you as you go into your senior year of college, cherish every moment. I took those words to heart as I entered my senior year but I never could have cherished each moment enough to be adequate, when the ending of my senior year was canceled due to this pandemic.
The email I received telling me that my college decided to continue with virtual learning for the rest of the spring semester didn't take me by surprise but it did hurt and affect me much more than I could have ever imagined. I was so overcome with so many emotions.
The main one being sadness. My heart is broken. Broken at the thought of no longer living with my best friend and having her run into my room every Sunday morning waking me up with drinks from Wawa and talk about all the moments of our Saturday night.
Or not being able to run into my sorority sisters on campus.
That I will no longer be able to sit with my little in our special library spot and talk about everything in our lives while trying to do our schoolwork. I'm not saying that I didn't realize this was all going to eventually come to an end but it's that I assumed that I had the chance to make more of these memories before I graduated and moved on.
The class of 2020 is experiencing a heartbreak that no one else can relate to at this time. As I scrolled through my photos to remind myself of some of the greatest, most insignificant things I've done in the past years at my university, I simply have no perfect words for this heartbreak that I'm feeling.
The uncertainty surrounding not having a graduation ceremony is just adding more pain to this as well. Not knowing if I will ever see some of the people that I got to see every day in the library, shared smiles with as I passed by them on campus, or with the people I had the pleasure of having fun times with.
Those people are suddenly so important to each of my memories about my college years. I understand that many people in the world are experiencing much harder times, and I am not saying my problems are worse than theirs.
My main point is to illustrate the sadness that so many hard-working young adults are feeling at this confusing time. Right now I should be getting ready to make many more memories but instead, I'm simply trying to hold on to the ones I have.
I just wish I knew that the last time I went to the campus library.
I wish I went to chapter on Monday with all my Sigma sisters.
I wish I went to Ryan's pub or McGillicuddy's.
I wish I experienced Palooza.
I wish I drove around Lower Merion blasting music with my best friends, entered my classes, crossed City Avenue, walked through Merion Hall, watched someone take a picture of Barbelin tower, talked with my favorite professor was the last time I would be doing so.
I just would've liked to cherish the moment even more than I did.
