The Pain & Beauty Of Vulnerability

Being vulnerable is something that has never come easily to me. Being able to openly discuss what's on my mind has been a constant struggle throughout the many relationships and friendships I have had. "Why are you mad?" was once the most frightening questions someone could have asked me.

Vulnerability is a scary concept that I think about nearly every day in many social interactions.

But why do I feel this overwhelming difficulty of telling people how I truly feel? Is it because of how I was raised? Is it because of a life experience Is it just because I hate confrontation?

If we are being real, it's probably a combination of multiple things, but here I am attempting to let myself and the stories I have been brought to attention.

It's no fault to my parents, but more so to society, that I wasn't comfortable talking about what was going on inside my mind. In a world where women were, and still are, consistently silenced, being speaking my mind never seemed like the smart thing to do.

I used to, and honestly sometimes still do, think it's tacky to put exactly how you are feeling out into the world for everyone to see, read, comment and ask questions about. I used to delete "friends" (those people you add on Facebook but aren't really your friends in real life) off of the social network who opened up too much on their statuses or Tweets because they annoyed me and made me think too much about my own life.

I would rather no one know the personal details of my life. I would rather idealize my life to everyone around me and deal with my issues on my own time. But that's not the way the world functions and being vulnerable is a crucial point to living a less stressful life.

My hopes with my new endeavor of being a writer for Odyssey is that this platform allows me to work on my vulnerabilities and allow people to get to know the real me, and I challenge everyone who reads this article to do the same.

Have a conversation with yourself and those closest around you about something you haven't previously been open about. Journal about it. Write a song. Blog about it. Yell it out your freaking window. Feel the freedom and beauty that comes along with being that vulnerable.

This adventure will squeeze my brain until the vulnerability is oozing out and I'm annoying everyone with my feelings. My life's encounters may not interest everybody, but I feel as though it has value and life lessons within it that could help at least one person, even if that person is just me.