"You are such a bitch."
"You are so stupid."
"You mean nothing to me."
"I never loved you."
Who would have thought that the person saying these things would be our significant others. The person who is supposed to love us, care for us, and keep us safe. We live in a generation where we are expected to have "thick skin" and not let words hurt us, but how much can one person take? When do things go too far, or does someone have to inflict physical harm in order for it to mean something? While it is believed that words should not hurt us, and that we have all become too sensitive, the meaning behind these words says a lot about the person using them.
A long time ago, you may have fallen in love with a gorgeous woman or a handsome man. Your relationship started out as a fairy tale, but then reality set in. Your conversations got more serious and your arguments got intense. At some point, you noticed a change in your significant other's personality. They were no longer the loving, caring, and understanding person you had grown to love. Instead, they raised their voice, called you names, diminished your relationship, and walked away.
We all say things that we do not mean sometimes, and we all make mistakes. How many mistakes does it take before someone gets hurt? While you are bound to argue in a relationship, do you think it is okay for your partner to constantly put you down and call you names? Loving someone means that you work through your problems. While we may mess up once in a while, your partner should not be diminishing your self-worth continuously. They are supposed to be building you up, not tearing you down.
This leads to a very horrible idea that many people believe to be true. It is the idea that "If he or she is not hitting me, then it is okay." Even those on the outside looking in do not see a problem with emotional abuse. We are expected to brush off harsh words and ignore ignorant comments. However, when your significant other is constantly calling you names and making you feel worthless, is that love or control? What people do not get is that words have meanings behind them. Emotional abuse is not just calling someone names or yelling at them all the time. Emotional abuse is making someone feel worthless, unloved, unattractive, self-conscious, hurt, and any other feeling resulting in depression. The person making you feel this way, wants to control you. They want you to feel as though you can never leave, never love another person, or never live a fulfilling life because they are the only person who "loves you".
I would like to tell emotional abuse victims everywhere that this is not true. Just because he or she is not hitting you, does not mean they have a free pass to treat you poorly. Emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. You are a beautiful, loving, and caring person who deserves the world. Do not settle for someone who diminishes your self-worth. Know when things are getting to be too much, and walk away. If your significant other is willing to make you feel bad about yourself by using hurtful words, do they really love you or do they want to control you?
