This past week I found myself driving in my car reflecting about Charlottesville as an old Eminem song came up on my Ipod Shuffle. I sat in horror as the bass pounded out Marshall's words: "I can't describe the vibe I get, when I drive by six people and five I hit." I knew these words, hell, every lyric in "purple pills" is still etched into my brain. All at once, a flurry of Eminem lyrics I remembered from my childhood washed over me. The more I sat and listened, the more I started to ask myself how I ever liked or even listened to something so grotesque. I thought back to locker rooms, the back of the bus, clubs, all of the places where I had come to know Eminiem, and this is when it occurred to me: My generation, those who grew up listening to his music, they have grown up to enact every detail of Slim Shady's violent fantasies. They have brought him to life.

Almost immediately after hearing the Purple Pills/Charlottesville lyric, another haunting line suddenly jolted me. "When I go out, I'ma go out shootin'. I don't mean when I die I mean when I go to the club stupid." All I could think about was Florida. The pain the queer community felt that day was unfathomable. I couldn't get the words out of my head, in this context, Eminem's words are the most sincere form of mockery and threat. It is difficult enough for queer folk to go out when they face the highest rate of hate crimes committed against them. It is more difficult when shootings sap the integrity of the one queer friendly space. It is damn near impossible when the words on the stereo seem to echo in agreement with these heinous acts.

A shocking amount of Eminem's lyricism has materialized amongst white nationalist groups, in particular. Listening to even a single song on the album strikes bone chilling similarities with modern attitudes. I decided to go back and listen to more of the Marshall Mathers LP. The next song I arrived upon was "criminal." "Criminal" consists of Eminem complaining about how he's made out to be a criminal for "telling em' what's on his mind." Eminem is an unironic martyr. He truly believes himself to be the victim because people lash out at his speech. What is that speech? Criminal goes on to say:

"My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That will stab you in the head
Whether you're a fag or les'
Or the homo-sex, hermaph', or a trans'a'vest'
Pants or dress, hate fags? the answer's "yes"
Homophobic? Nah, you're just hetero phobic"

Does any of that sound familiar?

Obviously, white supremacy and homophobia existed before Eminem, and it will exist after Eminem. One objection may be that Eminem did not "create" white nationalism/ the alt-right etc. While it is true to say that Eminem is merely symptomatic (a product) of the world around him, it would be shallow analysis to not also realize that he has absolutely had a hand in exacerbating it. Some symptoms will go unnoticed while others will rapidly increase the progression and magnitude of the disease. Eminem was and is the latter type of symptom.

It would be a disservice to fail to recognize Eminem's (and the music industry as a whole) glorification of violence against women. There are countless songs where he details vivid fantasies about killing his ex Kim. In "kill you" and a number of others he acts out rapes. He's not alone, and this trend has not ceased. Rick Ross once rapped "Put Molly all in her Champagne, she ain't even know it. Took her home and I enjoyed that, she ain't even know it." The backlash was almost non-existent because this type of glorified violence has become so frequent. The extent of the backlash was a change.org petition which surfaced calling upon authorities to prosecute Ross. No case was opened. Instead, Ross released a statement wherein he told all the "beautiful sexy ladies on his timeline" that "it's a misunderstanding" because he "would never use the word rape." It doesn't stop at hip hop either. At work the other day (my coworkers like country), a recently popular song came on which encourages women to "drink a little more, think a little less." Frankly, it's far more challenging to find examples of lyrics that don't endorse problematic thinking than it is to find those which do.

It's time to face the complicit nature of the music we hear every day. Perhaps at the point where 1 in 4 women will experience sexual assault and 1 in 3 have experienced intimate partner violence, it's time to stop normalizing and even glorifying these words. Those who would dismiss this as "merely words" need do no more than to walk outside. These days it will probably only take a good five minutes for some jackass in a lifted truck with a confederate flag to roll by blaring Eminem or some other angry or entitled artist promoting violence. Slim Shady is more than just a persona, it's a culture. Eminem's preachings of white entitlement, violence, homophobia, etc. now find their way into the mouths of fully grown adults. As his words aged, so too have the folks who sing, believe and resonate with them. It should come as no surprise, then, when people start acting them. In my car I mourned, but I also felt afraid. There is something all too real about Eminem's words, even 15 years later. He is menacing. He's scoffing. He's bragging about these acts of violence. He's laughing in the face of critics and the vulnerable alike.

The rest of my drive home, I thought about Dylan Roof. Roof was described as a beacon of pure hate and showed a general sense of dismissiveness at his trial. Roof passed every psychiatric exam he was given. He wasn't "crazy." No, he had a series of core beliefs constructed by all which was around him. He truly believed he was doing what was right. Of course, though, he was really nothing more than an angry, entitled, martyr of a white man. One can't help but wonder, where did he get it?