College is full of new experiences. Starting with your hall and ranging from classmates to club members and possibly even teammates, the variety of people is extensive. It is natural to be overwhelmed by all the change and seek out what is comfortable. However by shying away from what is unfamiliar, we may lose out on many opportunities to form new relationship and bonds.
I am incredibly guilty of making this mistake, but this year I finally learned why it is so harmful. Day after day this year, I was calling my mom complaining about a few specific people. Everything about them bothered me, and I was wasting an exorbitant amount of time stressing out about the situation. Finally after months of my bemoaning, my mom suggested I try to learn their stories. Before speaking with my mom, my decision was made; these people and I were just too different, and there was no possible way we could coexist. I am not confrontational, but I was at my whit's end. However, because my mom rocks, I took her advice.
Now I didn't start inviting these girls out for mani-pedis or lunch dates, but I did listen to them. Earlier in the year, I made the decision we were just too different, and I stopped showing interest in them. However as I absorbed what they said, I realized they weren't the devils I made them out to be. They had undergone adversity similar to mine, but they just handled it completely differently than me. As I said, I do not think we will ever become best friends, but I learned about what shaped them. We were able to connect over certain similarities. By opening myself up, I was able to not only connect, but also learn. I was amazed by one of my teammates. Both of our fathers have faced serious medical conditions in the past year, and I was astonished by how strong she was when her father was sick.
The moral of the story is that change is difficult. The discomfort we feel sometimes makes us increasingly critical of new scenery. It is impossible to be best friends with every person we come across. Some personalities simply clash, but it is crucial to be able to coexist. The stress of conflict just isn't worth it, and cooperation is vital for any club, team, and workplace to be successful. The best way to collaborate with people you do not necessarily understand or connect with is to learn about them. Maybe they were the children of an ugly divorce; perhaps they lost a loved one, or had a serious injury. My freshmen year of college I was diagnosed with epilepsy, and I coped by trying to act like nothing had happened. Other people put up a tough exterior. Understanding their struggles will allow you reflect on the situation and maybe even make a friend or two.
