From a young age, girls are taught to fit in. As children, we’re supposed to be confident, but the minute we act like we know our stuff, our friends and peers label us as bossy. With that kind of negative feedback, it’s so easy to think that being confident is wrong and that you’re more well-liked if you blend in. My childhood was filled with the conflicting interests of my inherent desire to be liked by everyone and wanting to be confident and stand up for my beliefs like my parents taught me.
To be honest, that’s something that I’m still struggling with, because not only do I experience it every day, it’s also reinforced in the media. This conflict is reflected in everything, from movies that have become staples of pop culture, like "High School Musical" and "Mean Girls," to TV shows that made up our childhood, like "Lizzie McGuire." While the sense of social hierarchy in these stories is somewhat exaggerated, the basic story of all of them describes how the one girl who is allowed to be confident is eventually taken down by her secret insecurity. As a result, girls are taught that being confident will eventually have negative consequences.
I say no. It’s time to teach our girls that confidence is a necessity. The reality is that no one will have confidence in you unless you do, so you better start feeling good about yourself. Having been in college for about a year now, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on how I’ve grown and changed, as well as how I want to grow and change. I’ve identified the parts of myself that I want to work on and the parts that I’m proud of. I’ve learned to truly live life, not just go through the motions with one day blending into the next, and it’s all because of one simple concept -- self-love.
Simply defined, self-love is the acceptance of the idea that everyone is both a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time. Self-love is choosing to love every single part of yourself and your personality, and loving the process of bettering yourself. It means being mindful of your thoughts and actions and how they affect others. All too often, we put others’ needs in front of our own and forget that it’s all right, important even, to prioritize ourselves.
Practicing self-love is as simple as committing to doing things that make you feel good, both mentally and physically. Begin each day by thinking about three things you’re grateful for, tell yourself why you’re a bada**, or simply say that it’s going to be a good day. Surround yourself with people who lift you up and make you happy, and cut out everyone who doesn’t. Above all, remember that despite all the struggles of loving yourself, you are worth it.
