I recently decided to rewatch one of my favorite movies, Monsieur Lazhar. The French-Canadian film depicts the aftermath of an elementary school teacher’s suicide. Bashir Lazhar, an Algerian immigrant, arrives to fill in the position. As the story progresses, he attempts to gain the respect of his students while also struggling to come to terms with his own tragic past. Though there are numerous aspects of beauty in this film, the ending is particularly powerful. In keeping with the infamous fashion of French films, the screen suddenly fades to black, and you think “...That’s it?” It reflects reality in the harshest sense -- no clear solution or happy ending, just the exhausting fact of life carrying on. Is an ending truly an ending if there’s no nice ribbon tied around it? After watching a story unfold in this realistic manner, you’re left on your own to deal with the ambivalent nature of it all.

This week I’ve been feeling pretty restless. It’s as if I don’t want to be any particular place and can’t think of any particular thing I really want to do. I’ll be sitting in my dorm studying, then suddenly decide I could be much more productive in the library. I’ll get to the library, decide it’s much too quiet, and impulsively decide to walk into Davis Square. The music in Starbucks will be too distracting, and so I’ll put on headphones. Once the headphones are on, I can’t find a song that reflects my vibe just right. The man sitting next to me keeps glancing over at my screen and making me slightly uncomfortable, and the woman sitting across from me keeps sniffing. So, there I am, left with no choice but to walk back to my dorm with five dollars less in my pocket and two hours less of the day in front of me. How does one cure this seemingly perpetual train of dissatisfaction we call restlessness? Maybe we don’t have to.

I first heard the term “Type II Fun” during my pre-orientation backpacking trip.

Type I Fun is the fun-while-it’s-happening- stuff. In other words, it’s that elated feeling you get from spending a night out with friends, coasting down the highway with the music blasting, or maybe just sitting down with a nice book and fuzzy socks. Type II Fun, on the other hand, is usually awful while you’re doing it, but completely worth it once you’re done. You may feel nauseous and exhausted with every step you take on that run, but at least you can have the pleasure of bragging about it later. I’ve found that I tend to enjoy most things retrospectively and am almost incapable of 100 percent enjoying what is in front of me. Though it would obviously be nice to fully appreciate the present moment, I think we can find a little silver-lining to not having that ability. Whether you call it ambivalence, restlessness, or simply suffering from a lack of Type I Fun, it’s all okay. Happiness doesn’t have to be the point all the time, because dissatisfaction keeps us moving. That space between where you are and where you want to be can exist. Satisfied or not, this is probably exactly where you need to be: “I too had been walking every day over buried treasure and never guessed...I had been seeking everywhere what lay in my own home.” - Michael N. Nagler