Lots of girls grow up with the mentality that it's better to be "one of the guys" among friends and to be distant from all the telltale signs of being an overdramatic, under-informed girly girl. I too fell into that category, thinking that somehow if I shed the things that made me feminine (read: disliked), I could embrace company that never encouraged me to live up to any expectations.
In our early years we are largely encouraged to embrace the societal extremes that frequently act as markers of traditional masculinity and femininity. Girls wear frills and have pink bedrooms, while boys stick to blue and ballgames. This separation is only further developed as children age, with boys being offered Matchbox cars and baseball bats and girls being given makeup and Barbie dolls. The subliminally forced separation of interests only creates a further divide, and sets up a situation where the opposite sex devalues its counterpart due to different habits and hobbies.
With that, in the throes of adolescence, we see a clear divide growing among kids, especially among girls as they begin to adjust to the competition of growing up. They divide themselves, however unintentionally, into two groups: the girly girls and the tomboys. Of course, every identity doesn't necessarily fall into these two categories, but at an age where girls frequently begin to compete for male attention, they often abide by the unspoken rules of femininity.
Girls become trapped in a lose-lose situation: exploit hyperfemininity and be perceived as desirable, or become "one of the guys" and be treated like an actual human being, not an object.
Girls need to know that enjoying stereotypical "girly" things does not mean they are any less deserving of their peers' respect. You can wear lipstick, dresses and heels and still be a person worth respecting! You can deplore all things of the like and still be desirable! You can like a mix of both and still deserve the treatment allotted to all of your peers!
Embracing your femininity does not make you unworthy of your peers' respect, nor does rejecting it make you unworthy of acceptance. We need to preach and teach respect over everything, starting with our toddlers. It's not about blue versus pink, or Barbie versus Batman. It's about learning to value the differences in our fellow human beings, regardless of gender, identity, hobbies, preferences, or anything of the like. Our differences are our greatest strengths, and we must embrace not only our own, but also others'. It's not a competition to be one thing or the other -- instead, it's a celebration of a smorgasbord of individuals sharing experiences among us.
