The other day, I was sitting in my Communications class, listening to my professor lecturing about how women think. She talked about how women are taught to degrade themselves, to think poorly of themselves. In my head, that sounded plain crazy. How were were raised on the principle of self judgement and hate?
The example she presented was to ask any women what was one thing she liked about herself. I sat in my seat, slightly tensing. Why did I tense up? She then went ahead and imitated a shy, timid young women (she’s a little on the old side, in a good way of course! She’s studied communications so much that this doesn’t affect her in the slightest.), physically looking closed in and stumbling over her words. Now I knew why I tensed up. That imitation; was me exactly. It reminded me of whenever someone ever complimented me, I always somewhat disregarded it. I always felt somehow that I somewhat didn’t deserve it. Why? If many claimed I was so amazing, why should I hide it? Why can’t I just accept and believe that I am what they believe I am?
This later led me and one of my closest friends to discuss a very touchy subject: difference. Difference in race, skin, beauty, and so much more. She asked me why people used negativity to bring others down. I explained to her that it’s natural human and animal instinct to be superior, and that racism (which my professor was also lecturing about at the time) was a powerful way of pointing out a difference that no one could control and use it against others.
We also talked about beauty standards in the U.S. and in multiple countries, talking about how different it was between each region. Different. That word just rang and echoed in my head.
This made me think about who I was as a person. How was I “different” from the norm? Well for one, I definitely did not fit W.A.S.P.H.A.M. (White, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant, Heterosexual, Able-Bodied, Male. Credit to Christine Foster). Only fitting into two of the six categories. I was a biracial, Asian-American, Roman Catholic, woman living in New Jersey. I didn’t fit into either half of my families. I am too out of the box for my Indian side and too Indian for my Filipino side. I didn’t go into a “stereotypical” study of becoming a doctor or a lawyer like my relatives; I chose to major in the liberal arts. I never fully immersed myself into either side of the cultures inhabiting my blood, as my parents Americanized my sister and I. I pierced my nose for the aesthetic, and bleached my hair out of revenge. I wasn’t even reserved like the rest of my family, being very outspoken and not afraid to stick out from the crowd. All these things, I have been talked down to about, and judged for. I ask myself: how did I become this way and why were people not fond of these things?
Then it all hit me.
Who cares? Who cares if I am opinionated? Who cares if I have a million piercings with multicolored hair? Who cares if I want to become a singer? Who cares if I want to listen to Korean Pop? Who cares if I am different. I AM DIFFERENT. And it makes me proud because it makes me, me.
I have never met anyone who is half Indian and half Filipino like me. (I hope you guys are out there, it’d be cool to you!) People always compliment because of my bleached hair, and usually spot me from across the room because of it. My sorority sisters always laugh and tell me how much they love me (I love them just as much) at how crazy I am, being a clown in public. My singing is equivalent to my cousins being good at accounting, which makes me more of the black sheep of my family than I already am. Everyone is raving over Beyonce not winning the latest Grammy, and I am hyped over BTS’s comeback. I have consciously and unconsciously learned to accept even the smallest of differences within myself and those around me, both people and expectations.
To all those who think they don’t fit in or don’t meet a certain standard, and also think that’s “weird” : my advice to you is this:
Embrace Your Differences.
You are you for a reason. People who appreciate difference, embrace it within themselves, and perpetuate that amongst others, and appreciate others who follow that same attitude. I hope that through this article, I’ve affected even one single person to embrace their uniqueness, flaws and all. Because you are awesome. Always remember that!
