7th grade was an awkward stage for everyone. Nobody knew who they were, cliques were forming, our bodies are growing, etc etc. Nobody is really that confident. 7th grade was also when my acne began. This is common for most people. But, my face was always covered in them. They blanketed my cheeks and my chin. I remember taking a quiz online to see what type of skin I had and it asked, "How many pimples do you have?". The options were: "1 or 2", "3-10" and "12 or more". The fact that I couldn't even count all of mine, and seeing this dumb question made my heart sink. Other instances had the same effect on me. For instance, my friends complaining that they had one pimple. I thought "I would kill to have only ONE pimple, even if I had that one pimple for the rest of my life." Or when I would accidentally scratch my face and a zit would start to bleed at school. Doesn't seem to bad, but for an insecure kid, holding a tissue up to my face in public because my acne was bleeding was basically the end of the world.
I grew up, my acne never rested. I had tried an endless amount of remedies. Proactiv, face masks, lemon juice, toothpaste, I even got a prescription lotion. Nothing worked, no matter how long I kept at it. Acne does a great job at making you feel like absolute trash. No exaggerations there, either. People talk to you, and all you're thinking about the whole time they're looking at your face is all of your damn pimples, and the fact that that's probably all they're seeing. (It's not, but you feel that way). Acne makes you feel dirty, even though I washed my face every night and morning with acne treatment, I still felt gross. Something else that does a great job at making one feel like absolute trash is high school. Or more so, the people in it. People talked about my skin, made fun of it, the expected reaction of other insecure high schoolers. (Unfortunately). Basically, this made me hate my skin and myself as a whole even more.
The goal of this article is not to be a sob story about bullying. Yes, bullying is horrible and needs to be put to an end. However, this is about my self-realization.
Even though my acne never went away, my hatred for it did. The pimples can be annoying, but I'm no longer loathing my blemishes. I'm embracing them. I look back and realize how many good times I missed out on. Sometimes I would stay home simply because I felt ugly in my skin. Even on the days I did go out, the only thing on my mind would be my insecurities. I wouldn't have a good time, I would have a miserable time. It's disappointing seeing all the potentially amazing memories I won't ever have. I don't want to waste my life dwelling on myself. I want to spend my life adoring myself, because I deserve self-love just like everyone does.
Deciding to simply love myself for who I am was the best decision I've ever made. It took work, but every flaw, every blemish, every mark that society tells me I shouldn't have, I adore. I have never been happier. I now go out and have an amazing time. My acne doesn't even cross my mind, there's no reason for it to. I'm doing things I would've never done when I was insecure. I'm mentally healthy, and that's all because I'm confident in my skin and my body. Confidence changes your life. It alters your life from being work, to pure bliss.
I'm living my life, self-hate free.
You deserve to do the same. Let go of any blemish or "flaw" you're sulking over. It's not worth it, embrace who you are and realize you're beautiful. Love life happily, blemishes and all. Be confident.
