When people are placed in new environments and settings, the natural tendency is to hide. This may not be in the physical sense, like “I’m going to go hide in a bush or under my bed sheets,” but in the sense of masking who you really are, your identity. Undoubtedly, it is so much easier to be someone you’re not. But is pretending to be someone else really healthy on a day-to-day basis? Probably not.
As a person who is relatively shy, I am guilty of not always communicating how I truly think and feel. I often give one-worded answers to my professors, especially those to whom I have a lot to say. I think it’s a trust and confidence issue. Allowing oneself to be vulnerable is challenging. You are laying bare your emotionally-flawed self. It is terrifying to expose yourself in your true form, but at the end of the day, your personality, your idiosyncrasies, your phraseology are what set you apart from everyone else. The only person you have to come back to is you. But I empathize, being vulnerable to the judgment of others is hard. For me, there are countless occasions where I become so uptight and worried about people judging me, that I overanalyze and criticize myself. My insincerities kick in and the ounce of confidence I once had vanishes. It’s a terrible feeling, but I am learning that this mindset is preventable and unnecessary.
The most challenging, but rewarding gift you could give yourself is love and self-confidence. By this I mean: learn to love, accept, and appreciate you. People change themselves, not only because they want someone to think differently of them, but also because they don’t like who they are or have become. If you’re one of those people, I encourage you to take a leap of faith and showcase that shy, loud, funny, silly self in the spotlight. The best thing to do is to not put on a mask, but rather present yourself in the most natural and realistic way possible. Your first impression lives on with that colleague, teacher, and friend forever.
To all those who aren’t the best versions of themselves let’s make a promise to unleash the real us. I challenge you to be honest and open. Take time to introspect, discover your voice, and determine whether your choices make you happy. Let it be known without hesitation that you are who you are. When someone asks you a question, respond genuinely, whether with sass, sweetness, sarcasm, humor, or honesty. I encourage you to set goals for yourself. Do something that stretches your comfort level. Personally, rather than giving one-worded answers, I’ll push myself to respond with sentences. When I disagree, I’ll speak up, ignoring my fear of judgment. In the end, if someone does not appreciate the real you, find someone who does.
