You ever have some sort of epiphany well into your education and think, "wow... how did I make it this far considering how dumb I am?" Yeah, same. In fact, there are a lot of seemingly common knowledge things I didn't learn/realize until my senior year of college. At 21 I was already old enough to go to bars, gamble, and even apply to adopt a child. Here's a list of things I didn't learn until my senior year. This also doubles as a list of why it's probably a good thing I didn't adopt a child.
1. The moon actually DOES control the tides.
Mind = blown. I always thought this was a hippie myth. Like healing crystals and burlap clothing. Imagine my surprise when my Geology 107 professor suddenly started explaining how the moon's gravitational pull (I think?) controls the ocean. I was so overwhelmed – that was the last lecture I went to for the rest of the semester. B+ thank you very much.
2. Man isn't constantly on the moon.
So apparently there's a lot I don't know about the moon. I could have sworn we were just, like, constantly there. You know, setting up shop and doing surface samples and stuff. Nope. Man hasn't been on the moon since 1972! That's 44 years ago! I guess with all these movies about people in outer space I just assumed it was easy peasy at this point. I was wrong.
3. Chevy and Chevrolet are the same company.
I think this one speaks for itself... I don't drive much.
4. SXSW stands for South By South West
I'll admit this one I had to learn from Google. I was frustrating with myself for always saying "Sick Sue" in my head for years without knowing what it meant. Still not entirely sure what the event is... I'll figure it out next year, I'm sure.
5. "Stoned" means under the influence of drugs
I KNOW, THIS ONE IS PRETTY COMMON KNOWLEDGE. But I swear I thought when someone looked "stoned" it meant they were like, blank. You know that glazed over expression someone has when they are daydreaming / staring off into space? That's what I thought "stoned" meant – as if they were turned to stone. I don't care what anyone says, this one is a reasonable mixup.
6. "Madonna" is indeed Madonna's real name
People are always calling her "Madge." Honest mistake. I'm more of a Britney fan, anyway.
7. Greece and Italy = Two separate countries
I'm not even gonna make excuses for this one. This is purely due to my ignorance about geography. I always thought Greece was a city in Italy. It's just, whenever we learned about ancient Europe, I feel like the Romans and the Greeks were essentially in all the same chapters, you know? I think of the ancient Olympics and I just imagine men in togas with leaf crowns throwing around, like, discs made out of rocks. I don't know, that's a look I associate with both historic Romans and Greeks. Mrs. Magyar, if you're reading this, I'm so sorry for not paying close enough attention in AP European History.
8. It's Daisy Ridley, not Dairy
ALRIGHT, BEFORE YOU LAUGH – in the very first article I read about her, they misprinted her name as "Dairy." I'm not joking. So for MONTHS every time I saw photos of her and saw all the Star Wars promo, I would think to myself, "What an interesting name. Dairy." Until finally I discovered her name is Daisy. Makes much more sense. I swear I'm gonna find that article one day to prove my point.
Hopefully you learned something from this list. Actually, hopefully you already knew all of this stuff... but if you didn't then yay! I'm not the last person to find out a girl wasn't named after cow by-products! Good luck to all you seniors out there, and watch out for the moon – apparently it controls Earth.
