He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. Nope, I am not talking about Santa Clause. I am talking about the modern-day Chucky doll, The Elf on the Shelf.

Listen I know about as much about this doll as I need to. I have not looked up the details. I haven’t asked other parents how it’s going with their children.

First of all, I’m not trying to give my kid a freaking complex. I’m not telling him that some doll is watching him for the fat man at the north pole. I get that its suppose to make kids behave at Christmas time. BUT, let’s get real if your kid is being so bad you need to bring out some doll and tell them he is watching them, then they were probably rotten little kids before Christmas anyway.

I do not care nor do I really judge other parents who do the Elf on the Shelf. I do not have the time for that creepy thing. If I had one he would legit never move and my kid would find out Santa’s not real at a really young age because his mom and dad would legit forget about it daily.

I get I’m sounding really judgmental and I probably don’t even have any valid points. I just think he or she (apparently there is a girl version) is a creepy little doll and I am by no means convincing my kid that he’s got some magical powers and goes back and forth between our house and the north pole.

I am ABSOLUTELY NOT by any circumstances convincing my son that a doll is watching him. He’s gonna start thinking "Toy Story" is based on a true story. NO.

So let's go over this for those of you who love the elf. I'm supposed to convince my small child that a doll is watching his every little move and reporting it to a magical being at the north pole. He's not allowed to touch it because he essentially will kill the doll (I've heard he "loses his magical powers") and then after all that I personally have to stay up, get creative, and move the doll? I don't even wanna touch the possessed little demon doll and that's if I remember to move him in the first place.

I'll pass.

Mmm, mmm not today Satan.

I understand everyone’s doing it and some people think he’s cute and his story is cute. I get why some people might choose to do it. But if everyone jumped off a cliff I would sit back with some popcorn and watch the show and I would not join them.

We don’t do Elf on the Shelf in my house. Not today. Not ever.