English majors are unique. We willingly take on a major that requires extensive reading, writing, and a modern grammar class. For the most part, we love it. But as with any major, English has certain "occupational hazards" that are par for the course. Okay, maybe it comes from our own quirky love of English before we even began our degree, but either way, here are eleven struggles English majors can relate to:
1. Cutting out a paragraph to come in under the word limit.
It's painful, and it feels like you're killing a beautiful flower, but alas, it must be done. Somehow, going over the word limit is the norm, and you have no idea why your friends struggle so much with reaching the minimum.
2. Your answer to "How are you?" is "Well, thank you," and everyone gives you an odd look.
Because hardly anyone uses the word "well" for anything other than stalling anymore. But you're used to odd looks: you ask for books on literary criticism for Christmas.
3. The massive amount of books in your room that you intend to read, are reading, or have read.
It's dangerous, really. How many times have you tripped over them? Or weighed down your backpack because you thought you might have time to read between classes but weren't sure what you would be in the mood for? In addition to which, yes English textbooks must actually be read, and the Norton Anthology alone weighs a ton...
4. Your reactions to the prevalent use of poor grammar.
The struggle is also not compulsively correcting it, because one would think employees in a grocery store would know the difference between plurals and possessives. Just wait, modern grammar class is coming, where we will get to learn about more rules that people are breaking. I suppose that is why Grammarly's Facebook page exists, so proper English has a voice on social media.
5. Peer Review, when you're trying to be nice.
As an English major, sometimes it takes effort to find anything positive to say - or even finish reading the paper - during a peer review.
6. All the really awesome literary references that only other English majors get.
You're trying to expound upon an idea with an analogy from a book or make a joke, but your friend has no idea what you're talking about.
7. The moment of disappointment when the movie doesn't follow the book.
You know, when you click on a YouTube video expecting The House of the Seven Gables, and get some creepy sixties horror movie adaptation instead. I could mention more modern examples, but discussing the Susan/Caspian romance, Eragon, Percy Jackson, or The Hobbit is still too painful.
8. Resisting the urge to explain, in detail, why the HISHE Lord of the Rings video is wrong.
Yes, HISHE was incorrect this time; not just because of the Nine, or the fact that Sauron could sense the presence of the ring, or even because the ring actively strives to get back to Sauron. HISHE was wrong because Gollum's action of grabbing the ring from Frodo (when Frodo ultimately decides to keep it) was carefully contrived by Tolkien - who foreshadowed it even in the beginning, when Gandalf defends Bilbo's sparing of Gollum's life by suggesting Gollum may yet have an important purpose to serve. Tolkien even coined the term "Eucatastrophe" to describe this and other such events in literature. There are three movies because there are three intricately woven books telling a beautiful story those movies are trying to do justice to, not to just make money. Unfortunately, no one else much cares.
9. The feeling of euphoria you get from walking in a bookstore.
Yes, this is a struggle, because it makes you want to buy all the books in the bookstore, a fancy leather journal, or at least the cute earrings with lines from Pride and Prejudice on them. But you can't, because none of these things you actually need, and you'd much rather go on the Brit Lit Abroad trip this summer.
10. Staying past your local library's closing time.
You didn't realize they were already locking up, and while the staff was very nice about it, they wanted you out. But hey, one day you can tell stories about your "rebellious days."
11. The habit of comparing people to literary characters.
Mrs. Bennet, Lucie Manette, Uncle Venner, you remember them, and it makes you smile when you meet people whose personalities resemble theirs, because it's as if that fictional world has come to life. Even a person's physical features can remind you of a character. Sometimes the resemblance is uncanny - in both respects. The problem arises in remembering a person is more than just the obvious, and not defining them by the fictional character.
The love of English comes with it's own quirks and challenges that few others understand. But that love is a part of who we are, and it sets us apart as story tellers, teachers of great literature, and, of course, Grammar Nazis.
