7:30 a.m.
Alarm. Snooze. Repeat.
8:15 a.m.
Finally turn off alarm. Aimlessly scroll through social media.
8:30 a.m.
Shower. Get ready. Coffee. Oatmeal. Respond to Emails.
9:30 a.m.
Class. Class. Class. Class. Try to remember to eat lunch. Drink more coffee.
5 p.m.
Work. Often grab take out for dinner.
9 p.m.
Some activity for one of the many organizations I'm a member of.
11 p.m.
Home. Papers. Reading. Write articles. All the work. More coffee.
1 a.m.
Fall into bed. Sleep. Get ready to start all over again.
I have managed to schedule my days down to the minute in an attempt to take advantage of every opportunity college can provide me. Work part time? Check. Join a honor fraternity? Check. Rush a sorority? Check. Take 20 credits? Check. Go out on a Friday night? Check. My Lily Pulitzer planner looks like a paint by numbers book, full of color coded activities, meetings, and assignments that need to be accomplished.
For the longest time I thought I could do it all. I could be Elastigirl, reaching myself in several different directions yet never breaking. It wasn't only college that made me think this way, it was high school too. I was the girl who did it all -- specialty program, marching band, dance team, school TV and radio station, leadership roles in honors societies, advance classes. And that was within my high school alone.
Then, sophomore year came and I learned I couldn't be Elastigirl. I could no longer reach a thousand different directions and not break. I finally started to feel myself rip. I was forced to take a step back. That's when I realized I could never be a superwoman.
Supergirl has balance, a woman who is girlishly gleeful while also physically confident and powerful. She-Hulk is indestructible and without inhibition. Batgirl has wit and incredible intelligence. Wonder Woman stands for strength, compassion, and fearlessness. Each one of them is all these things while taking care families, having a day job, and fighting villains. But I didn't have balance and I was physically weak from not enough sleep and my grades suffered and I was destructible.
It was a hard realization to make, but I soon learned that I couldn't be a superhero and be happy with the way I was living.
I have taken accounting, biology, organizational behavior yet this was the hardest (and most important) lesson I have learned so far in college. I can continue to try and be Elastigirl, if I want. I can take a full course load, participate in several organizations, work every free hour, but it won't make me the superwoman I thought I could be.
I will never wear the mask or the cape. And honestly, I'm OK with that.
