I tend to speak whatever crosses my mind without actually thinking about what it is I’m saying. Sometimes, that comes out as a rude or snarky comment, but that’s not who I am. If you hurt me or someone I love, most of the time I really do want to hurt you with my words -- but I don’t. I may call my mom to vent about the situation, but I would never go out of my way to deliberately hurt someone and while I may speak without thinking a lot of the time, I know that speaking before I think when I’m upset is never a good idea.

I used to be the kind of person who deliberately hurt people, or did something I knew was going to hurt someone and just didn’t care. Time and experience has changed a lot of that for me. I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older that you don’t actually gain anything by being a mean or negative person. In fact, it’s actually kind of mentally and emotionally draining.

There is never a good enough reason to just be mean to someone. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like them, they’ve hurt you, or you feel like they deserve it. Kindness is free but being mean always carries a heavy price. Whether you feel it right away or not, you will one day feel guilty about all the things you’ve done to hurt people.

It takes so much more energy to be mean and destructive than it does to say something nice. Showing your appreciation for someone takes so much less effort than trying to tear someone down. Would you rather see a smile on someone’s face because they know they’re appreciated or a saddened expression on their face because you went out of your way to hurt them?

Being a negative person, or responding to a negative person, isn’t worth the time or the energy. Stooping to the same level as a negative person is never the answer either, even though it may feel like the best thing to do at the time. Maybe being nice to negative people is even more necessary than being nice to positive people because they may need that kindness more than you know.

At the end of the day, kindness is free. It doesn’t hurt you or anyone else if you just choose to be kind. Being mean and petty won’t help anyone, least of all you. I’m really grateful that I’ve realized that being mean really benefits no one. Eventually, being mean will just eat away at you. Being kind to other people makes them feel good, and honestly it makes you feel pretty good too.

I’ve realized that people who are positive are less likely to let other people’s opinions of them affect how they see themselves. Positive people are more confident and are less likely to get their feelings hurt by one small comment from a negative person. So why waste the energy tearing people down and taking out your insecurities on other people when you could be living a happier life and building yourself and others up?

“Kindness is in the heart and it’s free to give. Give more.”