I expected college to challenge me academically and emotionally. I expected it to whoop my butt with homework and tests. I came in thinking of all the people I would leave behind and all the new people I would not want to meet. Of course, all these things proved to be true. What I didn’t expect though, was the way in which college would teach me outside the classroom. These are some of the things I’ve learned in college so far.
Dealing with people is hard.
It’s very easy to be independent. You decide what you want to do at whatever time, you decide where you want to go, what you want to eat. And the best part is you don’t have to run it by anybody. Now add just one more person to that formula and it’s a whole different ball game. Now you have to make sure that both of you agree on one thing. I didn’t know this when I decided to start a step team at my university and the result was stressful. Just eight students with busy lives, difficult classes, and other group commitments are incredibly difficult to schedule for one event. Somehow we all had to coordinate our lives in order to accomplish something. This took a lot patience (which I have a limited supply of) and negotiating. I now understand those business people with their noses buried in their phones and their thumbs tapping away. To deal with people, one must be understanding and patient.
People depend on people.
Given the previous point, people still need each other for reasons I can only guess. At college there is a necessity to find your niche and fast, especially for students who go far from home. I remember the awkward conversations of orientation where everyone is just analyzing each other. We tried to decipher the code behind their words, tried to find something that says “I can hang with this person.” There’s a mutual benefit to linking together and forming a family away from your real one.
Eighteen does not mean adult status.
Before coming to college, in my spring semester of senior year, I felt like an adult. I had a job and a car, I drove my little brother everywhere, and I had to do my own taxes. I guess being the oldest child also inflated my sense of adultness. The first week in college left me without these things and made me realize that I was still a teenager, or at least not as old as I thought I was. Something about a bunch of young adults together trying to figure out their lives makes them all juvenile. To be honest, hanging out with my new friends didn’t feel very different than when I was 11 years old. Another part of it is probably that people don’t want to take themselves too seriously when it comes to the future. Everyone tries to work hard in college, but the reality is that future is uncertain and it’s easier to be in the moment and act careless.
The definition of Home.
College taught me that home is more than your parents’ house and much more than your family. I learned that home is what resonates with you in every sense of the word. That which makes you feel comfortable and reminds you of yourself. When I went back home for the first time since I started college, everything from the scent of my living room to the sinking couch in the basement felt comfortable. The scent of my mother’s coffee in the morning and my brother’s loud footsteps on the old wood floor made me feel like I never left. Not to say that your parents’ house will always be your home. Whatever you call home can fluctuate with time and attention. College dorms, though, are so temporary that they can’t really become your home in just two semesters.
