After a rough year of losing my grandpa, I feel as if I have gained a whole new perspective on life and how I choose to live it. I think this is a common thing with many people who go through the loss of someone close to them. It can take someone passing away for us to realize more about how we should live life.
The first and most important thing I have learned from having someone close to me pass is that time is valuable, and you should be wise with how you spend it. I find this to be a common thing that people realize, because for me it comes from a place of feeling like I misused my time when my grandpa was here. I don’t mean that I am picky with how I spend my time now, but time seems to be more precious and I choose wisely on how I use it. That being said, an even bigger factor within this is who I spend my time with. I no longer have time to be around people who don’t better me as a person and who only promote negativity and drag me down. I wish to spend my time around people who put off good vibes, and who care about my well-being. These two parts, of how I spend my time and who I spend it with come solely from the fact that I misused time when my grandpa was here. I would be in bed doing nothing when I could have been with him. I would be out partying when I could have been helping care give. I now try my best to utilize my time and enjoy the company I have and the things I am able to do with them.
Something else I have been fortunate enough to take away from this experience is that you can’t live for anyone but yourself. Life is short, but it is the longest thing you will ever do, and you should do it living for yourself and no one else. This isn’t selfish, it is honest. My grandpa was a great guy, and he always helped others. However, when I reflect on his life, he always lived it how he wanted to. Serving our country at a young age, going to three universities for various degrees, having children, are all things he had a desire and passion to do. When you get caught up living your life for someone else, you lose sight of what you genuinely need and want out of this world. I know that I want to do art, travel, learn and be happy—yet I seem to forget these day to day, because I am so caught up in what others have planned for life.
I am a person who gets stressed and frustrated easily, but I have learned I should spend less of my time being mad and more time being thankful and not taking myself so seriously. Thankful for my health, my friends and family, and thankful for this life I get to live every day. When I am frustrated and mad, I try to check in with myself and ask myself if the argument or stress will even matter or affect me in a year. If not, I do my best to move on. That being said, I am only human and this is the hardest lesson of them all. Being mad is a waste of time and energy, energy you could put into being happy instead.
The last thing I have learned from the dying is that it is never a bad time to tell someone you love them. Let people know how you feel. Put yourself in vulnerable positions. Learn and grow from each experience. A letter from my grandpa reads “Dear Jamie, As much as anything, it is a special day to tell you how much I love you and I hope you realize how important that is to me. Love, Grandpa Harold”. This resonates so strongly with how I portray feelings. Every day is a good day to let people know you care. Every day is an important day to show affection and love towards people in your life. Hold people close, and don’t push them away. Every day is a new day, but it could also be the last. Every day is a special day to love and let yourself be loved. That being said—I love you grandpa, things just aren’t the same without you. Thank you for the many lessons (including the ones I have yet to learn).
