"Hey, blondie..."

That is not my name. That is the name of a delicious, baked good. If you don't know my name, either ask for it or use your manners. I am not being rude when I don't respond to this, but you are being rude if you use it.

"I was blonde when I was little"

Cool story bro, I was too, and so were many other people.

"I would tell you a blonde joke, but you would probably be offended"

I would only be offended if you assumed the joke was true, and not a joke or if the joke was about me specifically. Otherwise, I'm always down for a good joke. Believe me, I know I don't tip-toe past medicine cabinets so that I don't wake up the sleeping pills.

"So what is your natural color?"

Another variation of this is "where do you get your color done?" I grow blonde hair all by myself. The sun makes it brighter, not washing it makes it darker. I have gone into salons and have had people point at me and ask for "that color" though. I take it as a compliment, I guess.

"You must be having a blonde moment"

I admit, I use this as an excuse a lot because I don't like being wrong. However, there are occasions when I am wrong and it has nothing to do with my hair color. If I bleached my hair then we could argue the chemicals are a contributor but nope. I'm just wrong this time.

"Do blondes really have more fun?"

It's possible, until you assume I'm dumb or accuse me of lying about not dying my hair.

"I think blondes are sluttier"

That's cool, but I don't know you and you're calling me sluttier because of my hair color. It is not a compliment, it's uncomfy. Please stop, thank you.

"Blondes are supposed to be pretty, not smart"

This backhanded compliment is my least favorite of all. Why can't I be both? Are you saying I'm only one or the other? Are you saying I shouldn't try hard in school because of my hair color? What exactly are you trying to say here?

My academic career is full of great grades, high test scores, scholarships, awards, you name it. And yet some people are still surprised that I didn't stop after high school and focus on my looks so I could become a trophy wife.

You can make blonde jokes all day long, but do not make assumptions about my intelligence based on my hair color. I am not a dumb blonde, but assuming I am makes YOU the dumb one.