"It's my birthday," I felt a man whisper in my ear while standing in line at the gas station. And no, I didn't just hear his whisper, I felt it.

"Oh... happy birthday..." I said, unsure of how else to respond.

"You look good," he continued. "I'm 26, ain't got no kids or nothin', girl."

I looked down at my feet. I didn't say anything. Then, it was my turn at the register. I paid for my gas and immediately headed for the door. A few seconds later he followed me out the door and started approaching my car as I was preparing to drive away.

"Roll your window down!" He was right outside my car door.

I rolled it down about two inches.

"What?"

"You're really beautiful, you know that?"

"OK."

"A girl like you should smile more! Smile for me, it's my birthday, girl!"

Every time I go back to that Shell station, I think of that day. I feel furious all over again; furious that I was harassed, and furious that I did not have a voice. I was helpless, too afraid to say anything. Just keep your head down. Don't make eye contact. Don't answer his questions. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

My experience isn't unique. I have yet to meet a woman who has made it to her adult years without having been sexually harassed at some point in her life.

There are few experiences I can think of that make you feel smaller than being sexually harassed and objectified. When done in front of others in public, it is especially humiliating. When done in private, it is especially frightening. However, it is always frightening in some regard, and often it is too frightening to even attempt to defend yourself or reply.

It takes great courage and strength for a woman to stand up for herself, for her boundaries and for her self-respect. Some women can never achieve this.

Dudes, every time you complain about a woman rejecting you or your advances, you are setting our progress back.

Do you even understand how hard it is for us, as women, to say no? Do you understand that some women have been hurt for saying no? Do you understand that I remained silent that day at the gas station out of fear of what would happen if I were to defend myself?

You should be supportive of our "no." You should embrace our "no." You should honor our "no." And lastly, you should be happy about our "no."

I am tired. I am so damn tired of our men complaining about our "no." Whining about the "friendzone." Do you understand how safe a woman has to feel first in order to even say no to you? Do you understand that if a woman is telling you she wants to be your friend, she is telling you she does not perceive you to be a threat?

You should feel flattered by the "friendzone." You should feel flattered by verbal rejection. She felt safe enough to deny you. She didn't let her experiences of being objectified and violated keep her silent in your presence. She didn't think you would hurt her.

She didn't stop herself from saying no for fear you were going to follow her home from the gas station.

You should be glad you were told no. You should feel blessed and honored to have her friendship, even if you wanted more. You should feel lucky to be considered among the men who won't hurt women when they're told no.

I don't care if it's your birthday.