When it’s a bad day, I feel as though my mind cracks in two.

A hallow hole of potential remains

The half that you see smiles, asks how your day is going and makes pleasant conversation.

that you half that you don’t see over the sleepless nights, the racing heartbeat over nothing, the overwhelmingly hopeless void.

It's like being trapped under ice

Laying in bed you know you should get up

you need to eat

you need to take care of yourself

you are watching yourself, you know that this isn't you.

you pound your fists against the one-way mirror that doesn't want to be called by its name. it doesn't want to be identified

you lay in bed

you haven't gotten up in a few days

you sit up and turn to the edge of your bed

you bend your legs

the ax-pick is gripped tightly in your hand

your feet touch the ground, you stand

the ice cracks, you reach out

your hand breaks the surface.