Yes, you heard right. I dropped out of the sorority I once called my home. My reasoning wasn't as dramatic or controversial as you may think, though. I am not here to bash these girls because at one point, they were sisters and my everything. I'm just here to tell my side. I once felt I belonged in that sorority and within a day, I belonged to nothing. I'm still close friends with a couple of the girls and when I see my ex-sisters on campus, we're very amicable to each other. It was truly just a set of unfortunate decisions leading up to this.

I dropped from this sorority because I couldn't pay for the last half of my first semester dues. Almost $800 is rough for any college student to come up with but this was completely my own fault. As a freshman in college, my first semester was really unorganized and so was the rest of my life. I quit my job because I thought I was better than working every day as a pizza cook. I clearly wasn't. This lead to a couple months at one job, quitting, then another couple of months at a different place. Now I have a steady job but guess what I do? Make pizzas. Life is a funny thing, folks. Anyway, I was hanging out with bad kids--yes, I said it and I'll say it again--BAD kids. However, I paid for the first half of the dues before they were actually due and I felt good. I knew there was another $400 to pay but that fact was pushed to the back of my mind faster than I expected. Out of sight, out of mind as the old people, we call our parents say.

I really felt that I was home and that I had found my group of people for the rest of my college career. We were all hanging out daily, helping out with the philanthropy our sorority supported, going to other fraternities philanthropy dinners together, and going to socials every weekend as a family. These were my people. On top of all of this, I moved into the house right away so I was really in it. I dove headfirst when I joined this sorority but my eyes were closed the whole time. I sort of felt like the problem of money would fix itself. I felt so bonded to each and every one of those girls in that house. I met one of my best friends and got the best possible big I could ask for. For those that don't know how big/little works, it's just a big sister relationship that's really cute and full of support and love and flowers and puppies and sunshine. And so was my life for a solid 3 months.

I realized I couldn't pay the last half of the dues over winter break, about two days before they were due. I felt so dumb but I was confident there was something that could be done. I messaged the president about going inactive but unfortunately, the dues would've still had to be paid on time. There were really no options for me and I had been feeling a bit judged by the girls lately and was ultimately very stressed so I made the decision to drop.

Everyone told me I really shouldn't have and I should've stuck it out because eventually, I'll regret dropping. But here's the thing; there was no other solution. It was sad but my own carelessness bit me in the ass. Shit happens but everyone understood when I explained and life moved on. I just didn't expect to feel dropped by the girl I called my go-to.

Looking back now, it makes sense for the girl you were the closest with to be upset that you were leaving. I truly never expected it to end our friendship, though. Once I started to feel left out, I blamed it on my big saying things like "you're not even trying" and "it wasn't my fault, you can't be mad." Eventually, we stopped talking and that was that. I was devastated. How could someone I looked up to so much drop me so easy? It was pretty ironic thinking about it now but I moved forward. There was nothing else for me to do! It was my decision and I was living with it. I felt dumb and like I had failed. For a moment, I thought I did the wrong thing. I didn't have a home anymore. I was lost and alone in the real world. What the hell was I supposed to do?

Turns out, it wasn't that serious. I figured out what to do--live my own life exactly how I wanted. Now, I am as happy as ever. I do not regret dropping. I miss the girls a lot but it was the right decision for me. My life is different but I love it. I have a job and new friends along with some old ones. I joined new on-campus groups and I feel like I finally have my shit together. Just last night, I went back to the sorority house for their philanthropy dinner and I was greeted with hugs and screams and my big ran up to me like nothing had changed. Everything turned out okay. There was hardly any drama and I kept the friends I had made. I dropped my sorority and I survived--and actually enjoyed life a little more. As the great Jason Derulo once said, I'm "living my life, ain't got stress no more."