I am a young adult who has always wanted to be rich and successful and have a happy life with a women I love and one day I got into a cab.
“Uptown.”
We drove for a few blocks and he stopped and picked up two more people.
I didn’t like this because this was my cab. The two new passengers didn’t know I was in my cab so they got in on opposite ends and pushed me into the middle.
“Who the fuck are you” asked the man. He was middle aged with curly salt and pepper hair. He was a big man, about 6’2’’, with a nice suit. Handsome.
“This is my cab.”
His wife lit a cigarette.
“You can’t smoke in here, miss” chimes the driver.
“What’s extremely sick is that I’m simultaneously amazed at your talent and revolted by your depravity” yells the women. “I mean; you knew I had a big presentation today and that I needed Sandra to be there. How far out did you plan to seduce her? How were you even able to convince her to skip the presentation? She must have known she was going to get fired. I mean, wow! I hope it was good for her.
The large man looks at me, smirks and shrugs.
I let out a chuckle. I couldn’t help it.
Instantly I can feel her gaze calmly destroying me.
“Who the fuck are you?”
I stammer but the gentleman comes to my aid.
“What’s sick is that you still can’t accept that you are so turned on by me. You love how depraved I am. I’m smart enough to get what I want. I control everything in my life and follow my wants. I’ll get this kid to pay for our cab if I want to and you love that I could. You know how I know I’m right? You’re still here.”
“When I met you, you were trying to be the nice girl. But you were only sweet to cover up how pissed off you were with your sweet life. You were empty. You were bored. Now you just use that nice girl bullshit to act like I’m the monster and keep yourself from owning any responsibility. But this is what you wanted! You wanted a memorable life That’s why you’re still here. Cause you’re alive with me, cause you know none of it matters and that the insanity is inconsequential and laughable.”
“I’m not gonna pay for your cab, sir” I said firmly for my innately sheepish disposition.
“No, of course. Just using you as an example bud, sorry.”
“Oh, he will make you pay for this cab. Just to prove his point and solidify his argument.”
I turn to him and he looks gives the same smirk and shrug.
I don’t chuckle this time. Now I’m annoyed because an ugly truth has been brought to my attention and I feel manipulated and used. But I don’t turn my anger towards the man. He has done me no wrong yet. In fact he has been quite charming and there is something about his early exposure that makes me think he won’t try anymore because he knows I’m wise to him. Instead I turn my anger to my most current assailant, who just so happens to be the less physically intimidating.
“So what did you do” I asked her.
The man who had been looking out the window turned with a smile and raised eyebrows, interested and impressed. She stiffened and looked at us out of the corner of her eye.
“What do you mean” she asked.
“What did you do to cause him to sleep with your partner?”
“Very good question, my friend. Tell him Sarah, tell him what you did.”
“Nothing you wouldn’t have done.”
“No, I would have taken more…She stole $10 million from me.”
“But like you said, you would have taken more. So maybe my nice girl bullshit isn’t such bullshit. Maybe that’s why you haven’t left yet, because you like that, since I’m not as shitty as you cause it makes you less shitty. You want to be a better person and you need me to help you do it.”
He bounced with a laugh and smiled out the window. I think he loved how right she was. He smiled at her and she turned away, not wanting to break the angry and bitter facade. She was playing his game which allowed him to smile first. She wanted to smile but didn’t want to be written off so she had to look away. It was the purest moment of two people understanding one another that I had ever seen. It was also the most messed up thing I had ever seen. The cab pulled to the curb to let them out.
“Thanks, kid” he said. The cab driver and I made eye contact.
I envied what they had and it also terrified me. They saw through any and all of the bullshit the other could throw at them. They knew what really mattered and something about that offered a lot of freedom. But they were both so unhealthy. I couldn’t decide if they were empowered and above it all or just sharing in their misery and in the empty world they had carved out for each other.
The man uses people. I’m a broke kid and he can afford to lose ten million but he still makes me pay for his cab. What a dick. But he told me he was going to do it and then finessed me right in front of my face. What a badass. Also, why is he even taking a cab if he’s so rich?
She was some small town girl who wanted more and got it but how spoiled of her for not appreciating where she came from. But she found a man she loved and who can offer her anything. But he drives her crazy with manipulative, mind games. But she gets the thrills and the mills that she always wanted.
What kept me up that night was the horrifying fact that I wanted terribly to live the life they even though it meant never actually being happy. I’d rather be alive.
