My friends, or almost anyone who has held an actual conversation with me, know that I have a very turbulent relationship with technology, particularly social media. There have been times when I have deleted my Facebook, times (yes plural) when I've purposely smashed my phone on the ground because of a snapchat, times when I've checked instagram religiously until I had those 12 likes to round out the look of my post. Aside from my personal craziness, I've witnessed one of my friends take an hour sculpting the perfect instagram caption meant to look perfectly off-the-cuff. The caption ended up not making an grammatical or intellectual sense, so well done.
I've become very obsessed with social media, but in a way that I quite seriously fear it. I noticed the technology obsession in our society most intensely when I got back from being phone-less in India for three months. I knew that going home and trying to talk to people face-to-face while they were glued to their phones would be hard, but I didn't realize how hard. As I was driving back from the airport I spotted my mom looking at her phone while I talked to her. It could have been the 22-hour journey I'd just undergone, but I honestly wanted to start crying. It wasn't her fault, I wasn't even mad at her, I was more upset because I knew I would fall back into the same habits right away, and I did.
Social media and technology are fun. They're addictive and enjoyable. I asked myself if I actually felt better after going on Facebook or surfing around Instagram and I found that the only reason I really like those things is when I'm getting validation in the form of likes, which only really happens when I post things. However, the majority of my time is spent looking at other people's posts and this RARELY adds anything to my day, in the form of emotional, intellectual, or mental enhancement. So why do we always look at our phones? Why would we rather be talking to people on a screen than the people right in front of us?
Recently, I watched a Ted Talk about technology in our lives called Connected, but alone? by Sherry Turkle. This presentation made me realize that the issue with our society's relationship with technology comes from a need to control. With our phones on us, becoming part of our physical being at all times, we have the power to control our experience, always. Next time you walk into a quiet classroom before the professor comes in, or you're on the bus, or even in a quiet restaurant, look around. I promise you will see people glued to their screens in all of these places. At the next party you're at feeling slightly awkward for a moment or the next time you're in line, see what your first instinct is. Is it to reach down into your back pocket? Probably, unless your phone is already in your hand. No more waiting around, no more awkward silences, no more forced daydreaming. Maybe this isn't a bad thing, but what if it is? Personally, I believe that we could be missing out on opportunities of growth, reflection, meeting people, every time we pick up a phone instead of being a little uncomfortable or bored for a minute.
We also have the ability to control who we are to the outside world using social media. I tried to keep my Facebook deleted after traveling to India but I quickly realized that would be impossible. I need Facebook to coordinate with my sorority, to get information about events, to share this article and self-promote, even to make connections for jobs in the future. All of these things are great, but I wonder how different we would feel about ourselves and each other if we didn't have social media to perfect and trim our image everyday. As Turkle points out in her talk, human connection is messy and with technology we clean it up. But with this trimming comes sacrifice. It may take a long time to recognize this sacrifice, but it's there. Human-to-human contact is real and raw. Social media is a fake, glossy version of what's real. I'm not willing to sacrifice the raw for the glossy.
Currently, I have a Facebook and an Instagram. I try to avoid social media like the plague, but it still haunts me. My relationship with it is quite extreme, but I hope that there's balance. Perhaps we can put our phones away at meals, maybe we can stand uncomfortably in line, sharing the discomfort and boredom with others around us. The more we become aware of our technology use as a society, the less we'll find ourselves talking to someone whose looking down.
