It’s no secret that people get into arguments on the web. We see it on Facebook, Tumblr, even in YouTube comments. There are often explosions of swear words, name calling and general rudeness erupting from a small conflict.
This week, I had my own debate on Facebook. Now, let me tell you something that might be shocking: neither of us got offended. We had a calm, respectful debate about our difference of opinion and then moved on with our lives. There wasn't any cursing or name calling, and each comment was well constructed and thoughtful. I still disagree, but I can honestly say that I wasn't hurt by their words (and I don't think they were hurt by mine).
Here are some dos and don'ts to avoid getting into it on the Internet.
Do: Keep your language civil. Other people will be able to see your debate online, including people like parents, grandparents and employers. If you really want to say something nasty (I strongly urge you to rethink that), at least have the decency to do it in private message.
Don’t: Cursing is not appropriate in any debate. I like dropping the f-bomb just as much as the next person, but it isn't going to make my argument any stronger. It will actually make it weaker, and it will possible offend the other person.
Do: Be respectful. Even if they were the ones that commented first, and even if they are the ones that started name calling first, still be respectful as possible. You’ll be viewed as the calm and collected person while the other will be seen as ignorant and even belligerent.
Don’t: Name calling. Name calling is for children on the playground who have no other means of making a point. We’re adults. You should know how to get your point across without saying the b-word.
Do: Be compassionate. Remember that there is a real person behind the other screen reading your comments. If you couldn't say it to their face, then you shouldn't be writing it on their post.
Don’t: Personal attacks. You don't know this person; you don't know what kind of day they had, the stresses in their life or really any personal details about them. Don't personally attack them because they disagree with you. A difference of opinion does not mean they are a bad person.
Do: Be considerate. If you know the person you’re arguing with through school or work, contact them directly and clear the air. If you had an honest debate, neither of you should be offended but it never hurts to just check in and say everything’s cool.
Don’t: Argue on a subject you don't know about. If you are not well read on this subject you are trying to argue about, you don't belong in the argument. Read up. You might learn a thing or two.
This is the general skeleton to have civil debates online. Even with this outline, I still think it’s better to have debates in person where you can read facial and body expressions. It makes the argument personal, and will make you rethink that colorful name on the tip of your tongue.
